Would You Hire Someone in IT Who Does Not Have a Home Lab
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@dashrender said in Would You Hire Someone in IT Who Does Not Have a Home Lab:
@scottalanmiller said in Would You Hire Someone in IT Who Does Not Have a Home Lab:
@jmoore said in Would You Hire Someone in IT Who Does Not Have a Home Lab:
@scottalanmiller said in Would You Hire Someone in IT Who Does Not Have a Home Lab:
@dashrender said in Would You Hire Someone in IT Who Does Not Have a Home Lab:
What I'm taking away from this is that I don't really have much family time with my wife at all.
Most people don't, nothing wrong with that. I don't either. But not because we don't enjoy shared things, we actually do. But in our case it is because my wife is an extreme introvert and needs to be alone over 90% of the time to be happy and functional. That's something I've just had to learn to come to term with. She doesn't not want to hang out with me, she doesn't want anyone at all near her.
So the kids and I are together way more than my wife and I are together. My kids want to be in close proximity 90% of the time and alone 10%. My wife is the flip side. So now, for example, that my wife is done cooking breakfast, she is back hiding across the house alone, while me and the two kids are hanging out together.
That is exactly how my home life is too. My wife doesn't like doing anything with me or the kids either. We used to do the same things but hardly do anymore. She does but I can tell she isn't happy being around someone all the time. She calls herself an extreme introvert. I really wonder how we got married sometimes. I think she has got worse over the years though, she wasn't so bad when we first met. She did have cancer though so i am sure that affects her still too so I can't be hard on her because of that. I am still trying to adjust to her personality change myself and it hasn't been easy. She would rather be by herself and she regularly says she hates her life and family. She will then backtrack so i don;t think she means it. Its just the way she is. The only friends she has are people that are as miserable as she is.
So yeah my office is covered in toy trucks, cars, flying dragons and books because the two boys spend a lot of time in there with me at nights after work. I love spending time with them. We play games, talk, takes naps together and wrestle so the 2 year old can jump on me and win. He loves that. He hold onto my neck while laughing and playing.
My wife loves her life... as long as we leave her to herself most of the time.
But given that scenario, one of the good things is that we are all home together all of the time. So when she wants to be around us, we are there. So we get the maximum potential time together. She really hates if I go to an office or travel, as she does want to see me every day, just not nearly as much time as I want to see her.
Right - similarly, my wife wants to see me constantly. When she worked for one of the local public high schools, she hated summer time. It meant 10 hours a day of alone time. That drives her crazy! I come home and she's on me (for conversation only) like white on rice. Me - I'm like get away from me. I've been around crazy woman for the past 9 hours, I need some alone time.
When I travel without her, it's the same as the summers, because that means she's alone in the evenings...
My wife wants more time with me as much as possible, but I enjoy time alone for the most part. She can tell when I am just agitated. No really at her or the kids, but just agitated. She needs some of her own alone time as well. We're still working on our balance.
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@scottalanmiller said in Would You Hire Someone in IT Who Does Not Have a Home Lab:
@jmoore said in Would You Hire Someone in IT Who Does Not Have a Home Lab:
@scottalanmiller said in Would You Hire Someone in IT Who Does Not Have a Home Lab:
@dashrender said in Would You Hire Someone in IT Who Does Not Have a Home Lab:
What I'm taking away from this is that I don't really have much family time with my wife at all.
Most people don't, nothing wrong with that. I don't either. But not because we don't enjoy shared things, we actually do. But in our case it is because my wife is an extreme introvert and needs to be alone over 90% of the time to be happy and functional. That's something I've just had to learn to come to term with. She doesn't not want to hang out with me, she doesn't want anyone at all near her.
So the kids and I are together way more than my wife and I are together. My kids want to be in close proximity 90% of the time and alone 10%. My wife is the flip side. So now, for example, that my wife is done cooking breakfast, she is back hiding across the house alone, while me and the two kids are hanging out together.
That is exactly how my home life is too. My wife doesn't like doing anything with me or the kids either. We used to do the same things but hardly do anymore. She does but I can tell she isn't happy being around someone all the time. She calls herself an extreme introvert. I really wonder how we got married sometimes. I think she has got worse over the years though, she wasn't so bad when we first met. She did have cancer though so i am sure that affects her still too so I can't be hard on her because of that. I am still trying to adjust to her personality change myself and it hasn't been easy. She would rather be by herself and she regularly says she hates her life and family. She will then backtrack so i don;t think she means it. Its just the way she is. The only friends she has are people that are as miserable as she is.
So yeah my office is covered in toy trucks, cars, flying dragons and books because the two boys spend a lot of time in there with me at nights after work. I love spending time with them. We play games, talk, takes naps together and wrestle so the 2 year old can jump on me and win. He loves that. He hold onto my neck while laughing and playing.
My wife loves her life... as long as we leave her to herself most of the time.
But given that scenario, one of the good things is that we are all home together all of the time. So when she wants to be around us, we are there. So we get the maximum potential time together. She really hates if I go to an office or travel, as she does want to see me every day, just not nearly as much time as I want to see her.
Yeah I used to go out a lot more at night and work or just find things to do but she hated that too. So I was confused. Finally I figured out that she wanted me somewhat near to help her but not to interact with. She's just weird like that
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@nerdydad said in Would You Hire Someone in IT Who Does Not Have a Home Lab:
@dashrender said in Would You Hire Someone in IT Who Does Not Have a Home Lab:
@scottalanmiller said in Would You Hire Someone in IT Who Does Not Have a Home Lab:
@jmoore said in Would You Hire Someone in IT Who Does Not Have a Home Lab:
@scottalanmiller said in Would You Hire Someone in IT Who Does Not Have a Home Lab:
@dashrender said in Would You Hire Someone in IT Who Does Not Have a Home Lab:
What I'm taking away from this is that I don't really have much family time with my wife at all.
Most people don't, nothing wrong with that. I don't either. But not because we don't enjoy shared things, we actually do. But in our case it is because my wife is an extreme introvert and needs to be alone over 90% of the time to be happy and functional. That's something I've just had to learn to come to term with. She doesn't not want to hang out with me, she doesn't want anyone at all near her.
So the kids and I are together way more than my wife and I are together. My kids want to be in close proximity 90% of the time and alone 10%. My wife is the flip side. So now, for example, that my wife is done cooking breakfast, she is back hiding across the house alone, while me and the two kids are hanging out together.
That is exactly how my home life is too. My wife doesn't like doing anything with me or the kids either. We used to do the same things but hardly do anymore. She does but I can tell she isn't happy being around someone all the time. She calls herself an extreme introvert. I really wonder how we got married sometimes. I think she has got worse over the years though, she wasn't so bad when we first met. She did have cancer though so i am sure that affects her still too so I can't be hard on her because of that. I am still trying to adjust to her personality change myself and it hasn't been easy. She would rather be by herself and she regularly says she hates her life and family. She will then backtrack so i don;t think she means it. Its just the way she is. The only friends she has are people that are as miserable as she is.
So yeah my office is covered in toy trucks, cars, flying dragons and books because the two boys spend a lot of time in there with me at nights after work. I love spending time with them. We play games, talk, takes naps together and wrestle so the 2 year old can jump on me and win. He loves that. He hold onto my neck while laughing and playing.
My wife loves her life... as long as we leave her to herself most of the time.
But given that scenario, one of the good things is that we are all home together all of the time. So when she wants to be around us, we are there. So we get the maximum potential time together. She really hates if I go to an office or travel, as she does want to see me every day, just not nearly as much time as I want to see her.
Right - similarly, my wife wants to see me constantly. When she worked for one of the local public high schools, she hated summer time. It meant 10 hours a day of alone time. That drives her crazy! I come home and she's on me (for conversation only) like white on rice. Me - I'm like get away from me. I've been around crazy woman for the past 9 hours, I need some alone time.
When I travel without her, it's the same as the summers, because that means she's alone in the evenings...
My wife wants more time with me as much as possible, but I enjoy time alone for the most part. She can tell when I am just agitated. No really at her or the kids, but just agitated. She needs some of her own alone time as well. We're still working on our balance.
You're lucky then. Mine never seems to need/want alone time.
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@jmoore said in Would You Hire Someone in IT Who Does Not Have a Home Lab:
@scottalanmiller said in Would You Hire Someone in IT Who Does Not Have a Home Lab:
@jmoore said in Would You Hire Someone in IT Who Does Not Have a Home Lab:
@scottalanmiller said in Would You Hire Someone in IT Who Does Not Have a Home Lab:
@dashrender said in Would You Hire Someone in IT Who Does Not Have a Home Lab:
What I'm taking away from this is that I don't really have much family time with my wife at all.
Most people don't, nothing wrong with that. I don't either. But not because we don't enjoy shared things, we actually do. But in our case it is because my wife is an extreme introvert and needs to be alone over 90% of the time to be happy and functional. That's something I've just had to learn to come to term with. She doesn't not want to hang out with me, she doesn't want anyone at all near her.
So the kids and I are together way more than my wife and I are together. My kids want to be in close proximity 90% of the time and alone 10%. My wife is the flip side. So now, for example, that my wife is done cooking breakfast, she is back hiding across the house alone, while me and the two kids are hanging out together.
That is exactly how my home life is too. My wife doesn't like doing anything with me or the kids either. We used to do the same things but hardly do anymore. She does but I can tell she isn't happy being around someone all the time. She calls herself an extreme introvert. I really wonder how we got married sometimes. I think she has got worse over the years though, she wasn't so bad when we first met. She did have cancer though so i am sure that affects her still too so I can't be hard on her because of that. I am still trying to adjust to her personality change myself and it hasn't been easy. She would rather be by herself and she regularly says she hates her life and family. She will then backtrack so i don;t think she means it. Its just the way she is. The only friends she has are people that are as miserable as she is.
So yeah my office is covered in toy trucks, cars, flying dragons and books because the two boys spend a lot of time in there with me at nights after work. I love spending time with them. We play games, talk, takes naps together and wrestle so the 2 year old can jump on me and win. He loves that. He hold onto my neck while laughing and playing.
My wife loves her life... as long as we leave her to herself most of the time.
But given that scenario, one of the good things is that we are all home together all of the time. So when she wants to be around us, we are there. So we get the maximum potential time together. She really hates if I go to an office or travel, as she does want to see me every day, just not nearly as much time as I want to see her.
Yeah I used to go out a lot more at night and work or just find things to do but she hated that too. So I was confused. Finally I figured out that she wanted me somewhat near to help her but not to interact with. She's just weird like that
While we don't always have to be doing the same thing... I must be within eye site, otherwise she's just on edge. This isn't really doable when playing online games with others - the talking would disrupt whatever she was doing. Or when I'm on the computer watching videos, etc.. I'm not a headphones type person.. just don't like the pressure on my ears. I tolerate it for flying, but otherwise I rarely use headphones.
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@jaredbusch said in Would You Hire Someone in IT Who Does Not Have a Home Lab:
@dashrender said in Would You Hire Someone in IT Who Does Not Have a Home Lab:
@scottalanmiller said in Would You Hire Someone in IT Who Does Not Have a Home Lab:
@dashrender said in Would You Hire Someone in IT Who Does Not Have a Home Lab:
But you both at the kitchen table, you typing on ML, basically ignoring her - not in a mean way, but in the, I'm doing my own thing way, and her reading to herself or whatever... that's not family time, that's not hanging out.. at least not to me.
No more ignoring that if we were watching a show or eating food together. Same amount of interactivity.
Actually, we do more together this way. I watch HER play a game, not just watch the same thing that she is watching. And we discuss the game as she plays. We wouldn't do those things if eating or watching television.
So this is very much more interactive and more family time than the things most people consider family time.
you don't have family discussions while eating? you all just sit there in silence while eating? odd, at least to me.
You do not talk while eating in my house. I'll take your food away and you can go hungry.
LOL, we aren't quite that extreme. But eating is definitely not talking time. If the kids do that, their food gets cold and they complain. I can only imagine that people who have long conversations while eating also don't reheat leftovers.
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@dashrender said in Would You Hire Someone in IT Who Does Not Have a Home Lab:
@scottalanmiller said in Would You Hire Someone in IT Who Does Not Have a Home Lab:
@dashrender said in Would You Hire Someone in IT Who Does Not Have a Home Lab:
What I'm taking away from this is that I don't really have much family time with my wife at all.
Most people don't, nothing wrong with that. I don't either. But not because we don't enjoy shared things, we actually do. But in our case it is because my wife is an extreme introvert and needs to be alone over 90% of the time to be happy and functional. That's something I've just had to learn to come to term with. She doesn't not want to hang out with me, she doesn't want anyone at all near her.
So the kids and I are together way more than my wife and I are together. My kids want to be in close proximity 90% of the time and alone 10%. My wife is the flip side. So now, for example, that my wife is done cooking breakfast, she is back hiding across the house alone, while me and the two kids are hanging out together.
Sounds like the flip from my house - though I don't want/need anywhere near 90% alone time.. 40%+ alonish time would be completely OK. But for her, if it's possible for me to be in the same room, she wants that. It's to the point that she will suffer something she doesn't like just to be in the same room, though there are a few things that will send her screaming.. the bird when she's being loud for example.
I'll stop by where my wife is and she'll be like "go away, I've seen you enough today."
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@dashrender said in Would You Hire Someone in IT Who Does Not Have a Home Lab:
@jaredbusch said in Would You Hire Someone in IT Who Does Not Have a Home Lab:
@dashrender said in Would You Hire Someone in IT Who Does Not Have a Home Lab:
@scottalanmiller said in Would You Hire Someone in IT Who Does Not Have a Home Lab:
@dashrender said in Would You Hire Someone in IT Who Does Not Have a Home Lab:
But you both at the kitchen table, you typing on ML, basically ignoring her - not in a mean way, but in the, I'm doing my own thing way, and her reading to herself or whatever... that's not family time, that's not hanging out.. at least not to me.
No more ignoring that if we were watching a show or eating food together. Same amount of interactivity.
Actually, we do more together this way. I watch HER play a game, not just watch the same thing that she is watching. And we discuss the game as she plays. We wouldn't do those things if eating or watching television.
So this is very much more interactive and more family time than the things most people consider family time.
you don't have family discussions while eating? you all just sit there in silence while eating? odd, at least to me.
You do not talk while eating in my house. I'll take your food away and you can go hungry.
LOL - are you meaning as in talking with your mouth full? or just talking about period?
Ewwww!
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@nerdydad said in Would You Hire Someone in IT Who Does Not Have a Home Lab:
@dashrender said in Would You Hire Someone in IT Who Does Not Have a Home Lab:
@scottalanmiller said in Would You Hire Someone in IT Who Does Not Have a Home Lab:
@jmoore said in Would You Hire Someone in IT Who Does Not Have a Home Lab:
@scottalanmiller said in Would You Hire Someone in IT Who Does Not Have a Home Lab:
@dashrender said in Would You Hire Someone in IT Who Does Not Have a Home Lab:
What I'm taking away from this is that I don't really have much family time with my wife at all.
Most people don't, nothing wrong with that. I don't either. But not because we don't enjoy shared things, we actually do. But in our case it is because my wife is an extreme introvert and needs to be alone over 90% of the time to be happy and functional. That's something I've just had to learn to come to term with. She doesn't not want to hang out with me, she doesn't want anyone at all near her.
So the kids and I are together way more than my wife and I are together. My kids want to be in close proximity 90% of the time and alone 10%. My wife is the flip side. So now, for example, that my wife is done cooking breakfast, she is back hiding across the house alone, while me and the two kids are hanging out together.
That is exactly how my home life is too. My wife doesn't like doing anything with me or the kids either. We used to do the same things but hardly do anymore. She does but I can tell she isn't happy being around someone all the time. She calls herself an extreme introvert. I really wonder how we got married sometimes. I think she has got worse over the years though, she wasn't so bad when we first met. She did have cancer though so i am sure that affects her still too so I can't be hard on her because of that. I am still trying to adjust to her personality change myself and it hasn't been easy. She would rather be by herself and she regularly says she hates her life and family. She will then backtrack so i don;t think she means it. Its just the way she is. The only friends she has are people that are as miserable as she is.
So yeah my office is covered in toy trucks, cars, flying dragons and books because the two boys spend a lot of time in there with me at nights after work. I love spending time with them. We play games, talk, takes naps together and wrestle so the 2 year old can jump on me and win. He loves that. He hold onto my neck while laughing and playing.
My wife loves her life... as long as we leave her to herself most of the time.
But given that scenario, one of the good things is that we are all home together all of the time. So when she wants to be around us, we are there. So we get the maximum potential time together. She really hates if I go to an office or travel, as she does want to see me every day, just not nearly as much time as I want to see her.
Right - similarly, my wife wants to see me constantly. When she worked for one of the local public high schools, she hated summer time. It meant 10 hours a day of alone time. That drives her crazy! I come home and she's on me (for conversation only) like white on rice. Me - I'm like get away from me. I've been around crazy woman for the past 9 hours, I need some alone time.
When I travel without her, it's the same as the summers, because that means she's alone in the evenings...
My wife wants more time with me as much as possible, but I enjoy time alone for the most part. She can tell when I am just agitated. No really at her or the kids, but just agitated. She needs some of her own alone time as well. We're still working on our balance.
Everyone in my family wants more alone time than I do. So even with three people overlapping, I still get more alone time than I would prefer.
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@scottalanmiller said in Would You Hire Someone in IT Who Does Not Have a Home Lab:
@nerdydad said in Would You Hire Someone in IT Who Does Not Have a Home Lab:
@dashrender said in Would You Hire Someone in IT Who Does Not Have a Home Lab:
@scottalanmiller said in Would You Hire Someone in IT Who Does Not Have a Home Lab:
@jmoore said in Would You Hire Someone in IT Who Does Not Have a Home Lab:
@scottalanmiller said in Would You Hire Someone in IT Who Does Not Have a Home Lab:
@dashrender said in Would You Hire Someone in IT Who Does Not Have a Home Lab:
What I'm taking away from this is that I don't really have much family time with my wife at all.
Most people don't, nothing wrong with that. I don't either. But not because we don't enjoy shared things, we actually do. But in our case it is because my wife is an extreme introvert and needs to be alone over 90% of the time to be happy and functional. That's something I've just had to learn to come to term with. She doesn't not want to hang out with me, she doesn't want anyone at all near her.
So the kids and I are together way more than my wife and I are together. My kids want to be in close proximity 90% of the time and alone 10%. My wife is the flip side. So now, for example, that my wife is done cooking breakfast, she is back hiding across the house alone, while me and the two kids are hanging out together.
That is exactly how my home life is too. My wife doesn't like doing anything with me or the kids either. We used to do the same things but hardly do anymore. She does but I can tell she isn't happy being around someone all the time. She calls herself an extreme introvert. I really wonder how we got married sometimes. I think she has got worse over the years though, she wasn't so bad when we first met. She did have cancer though so i am sure that affects her still too so I can't be hard on her because of that. I am still trying to adjust to her personality change myself and it hasn't been easy. She would rather be by herself and she regularly says she hates her life and family. She will then backtrack so i don;t think she means it. Its just the way she is. The only friends she has are people that are as miserable as she is.
So yeah my office is covered in toy trucks, cars, flying dragons and books because the two boys spend a lot of time in there with me at nights after work. I love spending time with them. We play games, talk, takes naps together and wrestle so the 2 year old can jump on me and win. He loves that. He hold onto my neck while laughing and playing.
My wife loves her life... as long as we leave her to herself most of the time.
But given that scenario, one of the good things is that we are all home together all of the time. So when she wants to be around us, we are there. So we get the maximum potential time together. She really hates if I go to an office or travel, as she does want to see me every day, just not nearly as much time as I want to see her.
Right - similarly, my wife wants to see me constantly. When she worked for one of the local public high schools, she hated summer time. It meant 10 hours a day of alone time. That drives her crazy! I come home and she's on me (for conversation only) like white on rice. Me - I'm like get away from me. I've been around crazy woman for the past 9 hours, I need some alone time.
When I travel without her, it's the same as the summers, because that means she's alone in the evenings...
My wife wants more time with me as much as possible, but I enjoy time alone for the most part. She can tell when I am just agitated. No really at her or the kids, but just agitated. She needs some of her own alone time as well. We're still working on our balance.
Everyone in my family wants more alone time than I do. So even with three people overlapping, I still get more alone time than I would prefer.
Now you sound like my wife.
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@jmoore said in Would You Hire Someone in IT Who Does Not Have a Home Lab:
@scottalanmiller said in Would You Hire Someone in IT Who Does Not Have a Home Lab:
@jmoore said in Would You Hire Someone in IT Who Does Not Have a Home Lab:
@scottalanmiller said in Would You Hire Someone in IT Who Does Not Have a Home Lab:
@dashrender said in Would You Hire Someone in IT Who Does Not Have a Home Lab:
What I'm taking away from this is that I don't really have much family time with my wife at all.
Most people don't, nothing wrong with that. I don't either. But not because we don't enjoy shared things, we actually do. But in our case it is because my wife is an extreme introvert and needs to be alone over 90% of the time to be happy and functional. That's something I've just had to learn to come to term with. She doesn't not want to hang out with me, she doesn't want anyone at all near her.
So the kids and I are together way more than my wife and I are together. My kids want to be in close proximity 90% of the time and alone 10%. My wife is the flip side. So now, for example, that my wife is done cooking breakfast, she is back hiding across the house alone, while me and the two kids are hanging out together.
That is exactly how my home life is too. My wife doesn't like doing anything with me or the kids either. We used to do the same things but hardly do anymore. She does but I can tell she isn't happy being around someone all the time. She calls herself an extreme introvert. I really wonder how we got married sometimes. I think she has got worse over the years though, she wasn't so bad when we first met. She did have cancer though so i am sure that affects her still too so I can't be hard on her because of that. I am still trying to adjust to her personality change myself and it hasn't been easy. She would rather be by herself and she regularly says she hates her life and family. She will then backtrack so i don;t think she means it. Its just the way she is. The only friends she has are people that are as miserable as she is.
So yeah my office is covered in toy trucks, cars, flying dragons and books because the two boys spend a lot of time in there with me at nights after work. I love spending time with them. We play games, talk, takes naps together and wrestle so the 2 year old can jump on me and win. He loves that. He hold onto my neck while laughing and playing.
My wife loves her life... as long as we leave her to herself most of the time.
But given that scenario, one of the good things is that we are all home together all of the time. So when she wants to be around us, we are there. So we get the maximum potential time together. She really hates if I go to an office or travel, as she does want to see me every day, just not nearly as much time as I want to see her.
Yeah I used to go out a lot more at night and work or just find things to do but she hated that too. So I was confused. Finally I figured out that she wanted me somewhat near to help her but not to interact with. She's just weird like that
I think that that is common for introverts. They need to be isolated in some ways, but it isn't that they don't want you there.
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@scottalanmiller said in Would You Hire Someone in IT Who Does Not Have a Home Lab:
@jmoore said in Would You Hire Someone in IT Who Does Not Have a Home Lab:
@scottalanmiller said in Would You Hire Someone in IT Who Does Not Have a Home Lab:
@jmoore said in Would You Hire Someone in IT Who Does Not Have a Home Lab:
@scottalanmiller said in Would You Hire Someone in IT Who Does Not Have a Home Lab:
@dashrender said in Would You Hire Someone in IT Who Does Not Have a Home Lab:
What I'm taking away from this is that I don't really have much family time with my wife at all.
Most people don't, nothing wrong with that. I don't either. But not because we don't enjoy shared things, we actually do. But in our case it is because my wife is an extreme introvert and needs to be alone over 90% of the time to be happy and functional. That's something I've just had to learn to come to term with. She doesn't not want to hang out with me, she doesn't want anyone at all near her.
So the kids and I are together way more than my wife and I are together. My kids want to be in close proximity 90% of the time and alone 10%. My wife is the flip side. So now, for example, that my wife is done cooking breakfast, she is back hiding across the house alone, while me and the two kids are hanging out together.
That is exactly how my home life is too. My wife doesn't like doing anything with me or the kids either. We used to do the same things but hardly do anymore. She does but I can tell she isn't happy being around someone all the time. She calls herself an extreme introvert. I really wonder how we got married sometimes. I think she has got worse over the years though, she wasn't so bad when we first met. She did have cancer though so i am sure that affects her still too so I can't be hard on her because of that. I am still trying to adjust to her personality change myself and it hasn't been easy. She would rather be by herself and she regularly says she hates her life and family. She will then backtrack so i don;t think she means it. Its just the way she is. The only friends she has are people that are as miserable as she is.
So yeah my office is covered in toy trucks, cars, flying dragons and books because the two boys spend a lot of time in there with me at nights after work. I love spending time with them. We play games, talk, takes naps together and wrestle so the 2 year old can jump on me and win. He loves that. He hold onto my neck while laughing and playing.
My wife loves her life... as long as we leave her to herself most of the time.
But given that scenario, one of the good things is that we are all home together all of the time. So when she wants to be around us, we are there. So we get the maximum potential time together. She really hates if I go to an office or travel, as she does want to see me every day, just not nearly as much time as I want to see her.
Yeah I used to go out a lot more at night and work or just find things to do but she hated that too. So I was confused. Finally I figured out that she wanted me somewhat near to help her but not to interact with. She's just weird like that
I think that that is common for introverts. They need to be isolated in some ways, but it isn't that they don't want you there.
They have a larger bubble of personal space.
My wife has become an extreme introvert. She wants people in the room with her, but not close. I fluctuate heavily in either direction. When I'm alone, I want to stay that way. When I'm around people, I want to hang out with them for a while.
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@dafyre said in Would You Hire Someone in IT Who Does Not Have a Home Lab:
@scottalanmiller said in Would You Hire Someone in IT Who Does Not Have a Home Lab:
@jmoore said in Would You Hire Someone in IT Who Does Not Have a Home Lab:
@scottalanmiller said in Would You Hire Someone in IT Who Does Not Have a Home Lab:
@jmoore said in Would You Hire Someone in IT Who Does Not Have a Home Lab:
@scottalanmiller said in Would You Hire Someone in IT Who Does Not Have a Home Lab:
@dashrender said in Would You Hire Someone in IT Who Does Not Have a Home Lab:
What I'm taking away from this is that I don't really have much family time with my wife at all.
Most people don't, nothing wrong with that. I don't either. But not because we don't enjoy shared things, we actually do. But in our case it is because my wife is an extreme introvert and needs to be alone over 90% of the time to be happy and functional. That's something I've just had to learn to come to term with. She doesn't not want to hang out with me, she doesn't want anyone at all near her.
So the kids and I are together way more than my wife and I are together. My kids want to be in close proximity 90% of the time and alone 10%. My wife is the flip side. So now, for example, that my wife is done cooking breakfast, she is back hiding across the house alone, while me and the two kids are hanging out together.
That is exactly how my home life is too. My wife doesn't like doing anything with me or the kids either. We used to do the same things but hardly do anymore. She does but I can tell she isn't happy being around someone all the time. She calls herself an extreme introvert. I really wonder how we got married sometimes. I think she has got worse over the years though, she wasn't so bad when we first met. She did have cancer though so i am sure that affects her still too so I can't be hard on her because of that. I am still trying to adjust to her personality change myself and it hasn't been easy. She would rather be by herself and she regularly says she hates her life and family. She will then backtrack so i don;t think she means it. Its just the way she is. The only friends she has are people that are as miserable as she is.
So yeah my office is covered in toy trucks, cars, flying dragons and books because the two boys spend a lot of time in there with me at nights after work. I love spending time with them. We play games, talk, takes naps together and wrestle so the 2 year old can jump on me and win. He loves that. He hold onto my neck while laughing and playing.
My wife loves her life... as long as we leave her to herself most of the time.
But given that scenario, one of the good things is that we are all home together all of the time. So when she wants to be around us, we are there. So we get the maximum potential time together. She really hates if I go to an office or travel, as she does want to see me every day, just not nearly as much time as I want to see her.
Yeah I used to go out a lot more at night and work or just find things to do but she hated that too. So I was confused. Finally I figured out that she wanted me somewhat near to help her but not to interact with. She's just weird like that
I think that that is common for introverts. They need to be isolated in some ways, but it isn't that they don't want you there.
They have a larger bubble of personal space.
My wife has become an extreme introvert. She wants people in the room with her, but not close. I fluctuate heavily in either direction. When I'm alone, I want to stay that way. When I'm around people, I want to hang out with them for a while.
And I'm on the other end of the spectrum, I like to be in physical contact at all times. When we video game, for example, my kids are snuggled up on the couch with me all under a blanket. My six year old calls us the "snuggle family."
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@dashrender said in Would You Hire Someone in IT Who Does Not Have a Home Lab:
@jaredbusch said in Would You Hire Someone in IT Who Does Not Have a Home Lab:
@dashrender said in Would You Hire Someone in IT Who Does Not Have a Home Lab:
@scottalanmiller said in Would You Hire Someone in IT Who Does Not Have a Home Lab:
@dashrender said in Would You Hire Someone in IT Who Does Not Have a Home Lab:
But you both at the kitchen table, you typing on ML, basically ignoring her - not in a mean way, but in the, I'm doing my own thing way, and her reading to herself or whatever... that's not family time, that's not hanging out.. at least not to me.
No more ignoring that if we were watching a show or eating food together. Same amount of interactivity.
Actually, we do more together this way. I watch HER play a game, not just watch the same thing that she is watching. And we discuss the game as she plays. We wouldn't do those things if eating or watching television.
So this is very much more interactive and more family time than the things most people consider family time.
you don't have family discussions while eating? you all just sit there in silence while eating? odd, at least to me.
You do not talk while eating in my house. I'll take your food away and you can go hungry.
LOL - are you meaning as in talking with your mouth full? or just talking about period?
Just talking period.
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@jaredbusch said in Would You Hire Someone in IT Who Does Not Have a Home Lab:
@dashrender said in Would You Hire Someone in IT Who Does Not Have a Home Lab:
@jaredbusch said in Would You Hire Someone in IT Who Does Not Have a Home Lab:
@dashrender said in Would You Hire Someone in IT Who Does Not Have a Home Lab:
@scottalanmiller said in Would You Hire Someone in IT Who Does Not Have a Home Lab:
@dashrender said in Would You Hire Someone in IT Who Does Not Have a Home Lab:
But you both at the kitchen table, you typing on ML, basically ignoring her - not in a mean way, but in the, I'm doing my own thing way, and her reading to herself or whatever... that's not family time, that's not hanging out.. at least not to me.
No more ignoring that if we were watching a show or eating food together. Same amount of interactivity.
Actually, we do more together this way. I watch HER play a game, not just watch the same thing that she is watching. And we discuss the game as she plays. We wouldn't do those things if eating or watching television.
So this is very much more interactive and more family time than the things most people consider family time.
you don't have family discussions while eating? you all just sit there in silence while eating? odd, at least to me.
You do not talk while eating in my house. I'll take your food away and you can go hungry.
LOL - are you meaning as in talking with your mouth full? or just talking about period?
Just talking period.
Me at dinner table at JB's house: So tell me, how are you?
JB: glare
Me: Anything fun happening today?
JB: https://media.giphy.com/media/1UBEgUWneaVVu/giphy.gif -
@scottalanmiller said in Would You Hire Someone in IT Who Does Not Have a Home Lab:
@dashrender said in Would You Hire Someone in IT Who Does Not Have a Home Lab:
@scottalanmiller said in Would You Hire Someone in IT Who Does Not Have a Home Lab:
@dashrender said in Would You Hire Someone in IT Who Does Not Have a Home Lab:
What I'm taking away from this is that I don't really have much family time with my wife at all.
Most people don't, nothing wrong with that. I don't either. But not because we don't enjoy shared things, we actually do. But in our case it is because my wife is an extreme introvert and needs to be alone over 90% of the time to be happy and functional. That's something I've just had to learn to come to term with. She doesn't not want to hang out with me, she doesn't want anyone at all near her.
So the kids and I are together way more than my wife and I are together. My kids want to be in close proximity 90% of the time and alone 10%. My wife is the flip side. So now, for example, that my wife is done cooking breakfast, she is back hiding across the house alone, while me and the two kids are hanging out together.
Sounds like the flip from my house - though I don't want/need anywhere near 90% alone time.. 40%+ alonish time would be completely OK. But for her, if it's possible for me to be in the same room, she wants that. It's to the point that she will suffer something she doesn't like just to be in the same room, though there are a few things that will send her screaming.. the bird when she's being loud for example.
I'll stop by where my wife is and she'll be like "go away, I've seen you enough today."
lol women are so weird! my wife included
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@jmoore said in Would You Hire Someone in IT Who Does Not Have a Home Lab:
@scottalanmiller said in Would You Hire Someone in IT Who Does Not Have a Home Lab:
@dashrender said in Would You Hire Someone in IT Who Does Not Have a Home Lab:
@scottalanmiller said in Would You Hire Someone in IT Who Does Not Have a Home Lab:
@dashrender said in Would You Hire Someone in IT Who Does Not Have a Home Lab:
What I'm taking away from this is that I don't really have much family time with my wife at all.
Most people don't, nothing wrong with that. I don't either. But not because we don't enjoy shared things, we actually do. But in our case it is because my wife is an extreme introvert and needs to be alone over 90% of the time to be happy and functional. That's something I've just had to learn to come to term with. She doesn't not want to hang out with me, she doesn't want anyone at all near her.
So the kids and I are together way more than my wife and I are together. My kids want to be in close proximity 90% of the time and alone 10%. My wife is the flip side. So now, for example, that my wife is done cooking breakfast, she is back hiding across the house alone, while me and the two kids are hanging out together.
Sounds like the flip from my house - though I don't want/need anywhere near 90% alone time.. 40%+ alonish time would be completely OK. But for her, if it's possible for me to be in the same room, she wants that. It's to the point that she will suffer something she doesn't like just to be in the same room, though there are a few things that will send her screaming.. the bird when she's being loud for example.
I'll stop by where my wife is and she'll be like "go away, I've seen you enough today."
lol women are so weird! my wife included
It's true.
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@dafyre said in Would You Hire Someone in IT Who Does Not Have a Home Lab:
@scottalanmiller said in Would You Hire Someone in IT Who Does Not Have a Home Lab:
@jmoore said in Would You Hire Someone in IT Who Does Not Have a Home Lab:
@scottalanmiller said in Would You Hire Someone in IT Who Does Not Have a Home Lab:
@jmoore said in Would You Hire Someone in IT Who Does Not Have a Home Lab:
@scottalanmiller said in Would You Hire Someone in IT Who Does Not Have a Home Lab:
@dashrender said in Would You Hire Someone in IT Who Does Not Have a Home Lab:
What I'm taking away from this is that I don't really have much family time with my wife at all.
Most people don't, nothing wrong with that. I don't either. But not because we don't enjoy shared things, we actually do. But in our case it is because my wife is an extreme introvert and needs to be alone over 90% of the time to be happy and functional. That's something I've just had to learn to come to term with. She doesn't not want to hang out with me, she doesn't want anyone at all near her.
So the kids and I are together way more than my wife and I are together. My kids want to be in close proximity 90% of the time and alone 10%. My wife is the flip side. So now, for example, that my wife is done cooking breakfast, she is back hiding across the house alone, while me and the two kids are hanging out together.
That is exactly how my home life is too. My wife doesn't like doing anything with me or the kids either. We used to do the same things but hardly do anymore. She does but I can tell she isn't happy being around someone all the time. She calls herself an extreme introvert. I really wonder how we got married sometimes. I think she has got worse over the years though, she wasn't so bad when we first met. She did have cancer though so i am sure that affects her still too so I can't be hard on her because of that. I am still trying to adjust to her personality change myself and it hasn't been easy. She would rather be by herself and she regularly says she hates her life and family. She will then backtrack so i don;t think she means it. Its just the way she is. The only friends she has are people that are as miserable as she is.
So yeah my office is covered in toy trucks, cars, flying dragons and books because the two boys spend a lot of time in there with me at nights after work. I love spending time with them. We play games, talk, takes naps together and wrestle so the 2 year old can jump on me and win. He loves that. He hold onto my neck while laughing and playing.
My wife loves her life... as long as we leave her to herself most of the time.
But given that scenario, one of the good things is that we are all home together all of the time. So when she wants to be around us, we are there. So we get the maximum potential time together. She really hates if I go to an office or travel, as she does want to see me every day, just not nearly as much time as I want to see her.
Yeah I used to go out a lot more at night and work or just find things to do but she hated that too. So I was confused. Finally I figured out that she wanted me somewhat near to help her but not to interact with. She's just weird like that
I think that that is common for introverts. They need to be isolated in some ways, but it isn't that they don't want you there.
They have a larger bubble of personal space.
My wife has become an extreme introvert. She wants people in the room with her, but not close. I fluctuate heavily in either direction. When I'm alone, I want to stay that way. When I'm around people, I want to hang out with them for a while.
thats a good way to put it
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Okay so I finally read the 592 posts so I am not going to try to provide an answer or be an expert on this. I am always learning something, I have multiple electronic devices at home from Ubiquiti, Sonicwall, Dell Servers, Phones, and others that I test all the time. I am constantly learning new things online. That being said, I have 3 kids soon 4 and my wife that require my attention. I have a full time job in IT for a healthcare practice which takes a toll on you when you are the only IT Personnel in the office. My hours vary through the week spending up to 60 hours at work which gives you small window with family which I maximize as much as I can. My wife does have a problem with me being on a computer after a full day at work if I don't tell her the reason why I am using a computer, if I communicate there is no problem and mostly is good when there are no other activities and the purpose is right. I went to a private school all my life in the DR while my wife was home schooled which helps us since we both know the pros and cons of each one. The most important part is the social and work aspect from both because school is not the real world, and that is something both of us we are trying to instill on our children.
When I used to be at a MSP I was able to work Landscaping, IT and Family was also present. The hours changed when we went from 4 IT personnel to 2 IT Personnel and I went full time IT Manager and then grew up the team to 6 and then decided to leave because my hours had not changed actually they had increased and I had been able to teach my staff to learn and practice. If I didn't do that the company and them would not have been able to continue, that's why I like to teach others.
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@dbeato said in Would You Hire Someone in IT Who Does Not Have a Home Lab:
Okay so I finally read the 592 posts ...
You actually read it all?
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@scottalanmiller Yes, I actually did. I needed context.
