Finally leaving my job, and it's just as annoying as I thought it would be
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When you work long enough in the same place, you start to think that you are responsible for it all. You know management don't have a clue. It's your systems that you manage. It's your solutions they are using. In reality, it's not.
It's their systems and they gave you money in exchange for your time. You are even with your employer each time you get paid. They invested money, you invested a piece of your life. Time you will never get back. That is the deal.
You have no responsibility for anything, except to do your job while you are getting paid. That is what being an employee is - a trade.
This is the problem you are having. You are confused about what the deal is and what your part is. Not who said what or what is reasonable, legal or whatever. But it's normal. It's why a lot of people suffer from occupational burnout. Now you just have realize it.
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@JaredBusch said in Finally leaving my job, and it's just as annoying as I thought it would be:
@guyinpv said in Finally leaving my job, and it's just as annoying as I thought it would be:
@scottalanmiller said in Finally leaving my job, and it's just as annoying as I thought it would be:
@guyinpv said in Finally leaving my job, and it's just as annoying as I thought it would be:
This is such a pain! I didn't actually turn in a notice or set a last day, which I'm regretting now. But I'm a non-confrontational person. I just want them to be happy and I want to personally feel like I've done a professional job leaving documentation behind. I'm just trying to figure out a balance.
The more you try to do, the worse it will be. You are going to give them false hope and build up false expectations. The more you do, the more they will be upset.
I feel this already. We had an hour+ meeting the day after I had the first talk. All the crap they want from me, new formats, how they want it, in what order. I already felt the pain of this very thing. Now I know, whatever I document won't be good enough, where it's stored, how it's organized, will never be good enough because there will always be some aspect they don't understand, and if they don't understand it, it must be because I'm not doing good enough.
Turn over passwords and walk the fuck out tomorrow..
This, you have no obligation to them. Not only that but they sound like they won't give you a good reference any way... So you really shouldn't give a shit at this point and just move on. If they want to retain you tell them what you charge customers... Plus an onboarding cost.
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@scottalanmiller said in Finally leaving my job, and it's just as annoying as I thought it would be:
@guyinpv said in Finally leaving my job, and it's just as annoying as I thought it would be:
I know a lot of responses here might be "just leave", but these things are easier said than done. I don't want their business to suffer, nor our relationship, nor my reference with them.
No, not really. They are equally easy because telling you to do it is literally as easy as you calling in and saying "Im' done, bye, don't ever call me again."
Literally, that easy. You don't want their business to suffer? Why not? You are describing how awful these people are, and you want them to stay in business? That's not right.
Why do you want a relationship with them at all? These are terrible people. You need them out of your life.
You don't want them as a reference. These aren't ethical people, you can't safely use them as a reference regardless. Walk away.
All of your reasons for staying are false ones, there is no reason to stay.
Indeed I am a bit confused as to why someone who admits to themselves before they quit that they already know it will be a disaster, and that they map out all of the ways the management is a huge pain in the ass... so what benefit is it to maintain a relationship? With people like this even if you leave 100% like they want you to or expect you to, they'll still trash you in references, it always happens.
It's not your business, and presumably not run by a family member, so who the hell cares? It's capitalism, if they can't run a business correctly then it's their fault, not yours to help prop them up.
Lots of lecturing about how she doesn't know what some vendor or another does, and IT people have "secret knowledge" that is complicated so laypersons can't understand it. She says all my notes "might make sense to an IT person, but it's not how my brain as a layperson understands it".
To top it all off, she won't read stuff that's too long. If I send emails that are too long or detailed, she refuses to even read them and then chides me. But if I write stuff that's too short, she complains it's not written for the layperson.
She sounds like she's either totally stupid or insane, or really trying to manipulate you into doing more work and demean your job, and that seems more likely based on everything. Don't bother helping this psycho, don't feel guilty, do as @JaredBusch said:
Turn over passwords and walk the fuck out tomorrow..
And @scottalanmiller basically said all that needs to be said on this, at this point I think we'd all be repeating each other and if you aren't listening to it then you need to really change that mindset or just do whatever they want since that's the mindset you clearly want to be in despite obviously knowing how terrible of an idea it is -- remember even you said that you knew beforehand that it would be a disaster, why in the holy hell would you give them such a long notice and why would you put up with any of this after they started increasing your workload and reducing benefits?
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@guyinpv said in Finally leaving my job, and it's just as annoying as I thought it would be:
And all I wanted to do was open up a conversation so they could start looking for a replacement. I wasn't expecting a circus.
What were you realistically expecting?
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Your mistake was trying to be nice. Learn from that. Next time, resign after finding a new role, tell them when you are going.
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@DustinB3403 said in Finally leaving my job, and it's just as annoying as I thought it would be:
@guyinpv said in Finally leaving my job, and it's just as annoying as I thought it would be:
And all I wanted to do was open up a conversation so they could start looking for a replacement. I wasn't expecting a circus.What were you realistically expecting?
I think he had a pretty good idea, I mean both said he wasn't expecting a circus but considering what else he says I imagine deep down he knew it wouldn't be good:
I've been wanting to leave my messed up job for some time now, been there 8+ years. It's been a roller coaster with management here.
To top it all off, she won't read stuff that's too long. If I send emails that are too long or detailed, she refuses to even read them and then chides meBut then he goes on to basically explain an obvious problem that people get into who work for others for a long time, almost an employee-style Stockholm Syndrome.
I consider them friends and I'm happy to have worked here 8 years so I don't want our relationship to blow up at the last second and lose any kind of reference I might have here.
I don't want their business to suffer, nor our relationship, nor my reference with them.Undervalued, underpaid, still believes that such people will ever be a good reference for him, and yet wants to extend help as much as realistic even when admitting it'd take forever, i.e. be impossible.
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@tonyshowoff said in Finally leaving my job, and it's just as annoying as I thought it would be:
But then he goes on to basically explain an obvious problem that people get into who work for others for a long time, almost an employee-style Stockholm Syndrome.
I've never once had a hard time about putting in my notice. So it honestly just doesn't register with me.
I've found a place willing to pay me more, give me better benefits, less hours etc etc and whatever. And with the current place you just list the things that suck about the job. Overworked, underpaid, understaffed, bad management.
When you go and sit down with your manager just create a mantra out of it in your head, more money, better management, better team, overworked underpaid, understaffed, bad management.
And end the meeting with "I'm leaving on <date>." Don't get dragged into conversations of "Can we discuss and try to fix these issues". Because you are then the employee who has tried to escape.
The one who is being watched constantly, where things are going to become more difficult to perform the same quality of work you have done previously.
So I leave when I say I'm done on <date>. And wish them luck from there. Nothing else to do with it.
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@guyinpv You aren't in Minnesota by chance are you? Sounds like my old boss went to bother you now
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Do you generally only give 2 weeks notice in the US?
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Finish up all the documents that you don't already have.
Copy all documents and passwords into a flash drive.
Hand it to her and walk out. -
@Carnival-Boy said in Finally leaving my job, and it's just as annoying as I thought it would be:
Do you generally only give 2 weeks notice in the US?
Depends on the state. Wisconsin is a "hire at will" state. Technically no notice is needed but it is ideal to give 2 weeks.
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@Harry-Lui said in Finally leaving my job, and it's just as annoying as I thought it would be:
Finished up all the documents that you don't already have.
Copy all documents and password into a flash drive.
Hand it to her and walk out.I wouldn't even do that. I'd send one email "everything can be found here" and leave.
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@WLS-ITGuy said in Finally leaving my job, and it's just as annoying as I thought it would be:
@Carnival-Boy said in Finally leaving my job, and it's just as annoying as I thought it would be:
Do you generally only give 2 weeks notice in the US?
Depends on the state. Wisconsin is a "hire at will" state. Technically no notice is needed but it is ideal to give 2 weeks.
Wow. That must make succession planning a nightmare. I have to give 3 months notice, which is the norm in the UK.
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@Carnival-Boy said in Finally leaving my job, and it's just as annoying as I thought it would be:
Do you generally only give 2 weeks notice in the US?
It's a courtesy to provide 2 weeks notice when leaving an employer in the US.
The employer may provide the courtesy if they have to let you go though, but in many cases I've seen it not provided.
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@Carnival-Boy said in Finally leaving my job, and it's just as annoying as I thought it would be:
@WLS-ITGuy said in Finally leaving my job, and it's just as annoying as I thought it would be:
@Carnival-Boy said in Finally leaving my job, and it's just as annoying as I thought it would be:
Do you generally only give 2 weeks notice in the US?
Depends on the state. Wisconsin is a "hire at will" state. Technically no notice is needed but it is ideal to give 2 weeks.
Wow. That must make succession planning a nightmare. I have to give 3 months notice, which is the norm in the UK.
Have to? As in you'll go to jail if you don't? Or another employer can't hire you for at least 3 months? Seriously, what happens to you if you just up and quit?
Also - are you in some special job - or government job that has this requirement - not the private sector?
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It's in my contract, so if I don't serve notice then I'm in breach of contract and could be sued for damages. No jail time though
Normal job. Private sector.
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@Carnival-Boy said in Finally leaving my job, and it's just as annoying as I thought it would be:
It's in my contract, so if I don't serve notice then I'm in breach of contract and could be sued for damages. No jail time though
Normal job. Private sector.
Interesting - I've personally never had an employment contract - It's rarely - if ever - a thing here in the US.
Sure there are terms, even in writing, but nothing I've even seen or heard of (in the US) that is an actual formal contract.
The main main exception has been around training. I've heard of many companies making employees sign a contract to stay for a min of X amount of time if the company provides/pays for training. Of course the company could still fire them, and I have no clue if the courts would make the employee pay back the training if they quit before X time. -
@Dashrender being paid to train is a legal process that an employer can require an employment term. Which if the employee is fired for cause could be required to pay the employer back.
It's not uncommon at all.
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@Carnival-Boy Now let's talk about 3 months. How many employers are going to be willing to wait 3 months for you to become free from your last job? Perhaps the 'demand' for 3 months notice is so prevalent there that most companies realize they have no choice. That could be said for our 2 week notice here in the US - i.e. a hiring company in the US generally expect a person to not be available for at least 2 weeks after accepting an offer because they will give 2 weeks notice to their current employer.
But 3 months - this really seems more like a way to keep people from moving around between companies, all the benefit to the company - and piss off mr employee.
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@DustinB3403 said in Finally leaving my job, and it's just as annoying as I thought it would be:
@Dashrender being paid to train is a legal process that an employer can require an employment term. Which if the employee is fired for cause could be required to pay the employer back.
It's not uncommon at all.
If you're fired - I wouldn't expect to be required to pay anything back... but quitting - yeah I could see that. meh either way.
