Solved Is it bashing to ask what other were thinking
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So to me if discussing the thread, in a separate (not so delete happy forum) is essentially bad, according to you if and only if the person doesn't know it's being discussed?
So the real simple solution is "Hey OP I'm discussing your thread here, join in if you wish"
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@DustinB3403 If you have a problem about posts getting deleted for no reason/questionably over there, let me know. Discussions go into most deletions.
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@Jstear said in Is it bashing to ask what other were thinking:
@DustinB3403 If you have a problem about posts getting deleted for no reason/questionably over there, let me know. Discussions go into most deletions.
I would have to say I've had completely honest and blunt but eye-opening replies to others topics be deleted for "not being friendly"
Just the other day in fact.
Here is a screen grab of the email, and here is a link to the article of the OP who wants samples of Ransomware to show his superiors how awful Ransomware is.
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@DustinB3403 said in Is it bashing to ask what other were thinking:
So to me if discussing the thread, in a separate (not so delete happy forum) is essentially bad, according to you if and only if the person doesn't know it's being discussed?
So the real simple solution is "Hey OP I'm discussing your thread here, join in if you wish"
I think that that is likely to solve nearly all problems. In another community we found that private discussions that didn't include the OP tended to devolve due to that fact. It because a bunch of speculation in private and not really very useful. Inviting the OP both allows for the discussion to be more productive. But it also changes how humans will mentally think about what they are saying. We aren't talking about "someone we read about in the news" but having a conversation with a fellow IT pro.
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The burnt by topic should be a warning. Not a "here's another dense idiot who should know better. We don't know enough about the people to know if they should know better.
I've had a lot of my previous actions (and many more to still go) be shattered by participating here and SW. I've learned a lot, and continue to learn.
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@Dashrender said in Is it bashing to ask what other were thinking:
The burnt by topic should be a warning.
And even less of a warning but a collection of evidence. People often claim that best practices, rules of thumb or math on risk are silly or pointless. But evidence has shown for a long time that these things are best practices or whatever for a reason. Collecting that in a thread is useful for when people claim that "this doesn't actually happen to anyone."
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@DustinB3403 your comments here and on SW come across to me as if people making poor choices is a personal affront to you, and you have a responsibility to correct them. I've become very choosy about what topics I post in on any of these forums. It is a survival/sanity mechanism that I've needed to develop. Otherwise the unwise or uneducated will drag me down.
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Then it becomes even more important to not only post a link to the other thread, but also to spell out what they did, what best practice they should have followed so future searchers can find the thread useful.
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@Kelly said in Is it bashing to ask what other were thinking:
@DustinB3403 your comments here and on SW come across to me as if people making poor choices is a personal affront to you, and you have a responsibility to correct them. I've become very choosy about what topics I post in on any of these forums. It is a survival/sanity mechanism that I've needed to develop. Otherwise the unwise or uneducated will drag me down.
The topics posted here or on SW, that are asking for advice on how to address a problem are as much my responsibility to assist with as they are with anyone.
Just because I respond bluntly, and don't sugarcoat it means that I'm affronted by the person asking for advice? I don't see the correlation.
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@Dashrender said in Is it bashing to ask what other were thinking:
Then it becomes even more important to not only post a link to the other thread, but also to spell out what they did, what best practice they should have followed so future searchers can find the thread useful.
I think that that normally is done or is overwhelmingly obvious. If not, definitely ask. Normally it tends to be RAID 5 winchesters, IPOD, etc.
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@scottalanmiller said in Is it bashing to ask what other were thinking:
@Dashrender said in Is it bashing to ask what other were thinking:
Then it becomes even more important to not only post a link to the other thread, but also to spell out what they did, what best practice they should have followed so future searchers can find the thread useful.
I think that that normally is done or is overwhelmingly obvious. If not, definitely ask. Normally it tends to be RAID 5 winchesters, IPOD, etc.
I've had replies to brand new topics, (and I wont go digging for the emails) that have been as quickly bashed for assuming it was an IPOD in design with as innocent a question of: "Can you describe your setup a bit more, as this sounds like it might be an IPOD?"
I tend to try and be kind, but I don't coat it with butter and sugar.
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@DustinB3403 said in Is it bashing to ask what other were thinking:
Just because I respond bluntly, and don't sugarcoat it means that I'm affronted by the person asking for advice? I don't see the correlation.
I agree. But in a case like this one, because the OP isn't here asking "what were they thinking" doesn't really make it blunt or fact finding. Sure we can hypothesize but that's pretty pointless in a scenario like this. If you think that there is something valuable to be gleaned, it would require the OP to participate.
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@DustinB3403 said in Is it bashing to ask what other were thinking:
@Kelly said in Is it bashing to ask what other were thinking:
@DustinB3403 your comments here and on SW come across to me as if people making poor choices is a personal affront to you, and you have a responsibility to correct them. I've become very choosy about what topics I post in on any of these forums. It is a survival/sanity mechanism that I've needed to develop. Otherwise the unwise or uneducated will drag me down.
The topics posted here or on SW, that are asking for advice on how to address a problem are as much my responsibility to assist with as they are with anyone.
Just because I respond bluntly, and don't sugarcoat it means that I'm affronted by the person asking for advice? I don't see the correlation.
I have no idea if you're affronted. I only have the text of your posts here and there to go on. It is my surmise based on that, and may be incorrect. It might be enlightening if you were to ask how many on here get the same sense or not.
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@DustinB3403 said in Is it bashing to ask what other were thinking:
@scottalanmiller said in Is it bashing to ask what other were thinking:
@Dashrender said in Is it bashing to ask what other were thinking:
Then it becomes even more important to not only post a link to the other thread, but also to spell out what they did, what best practice they should have followed so future searchers can find the thread useful.
I think that that normally is done or is overwhelmingly obvious. If not, definitely ask. Normally it tends to be RAID 5 winchesters, IPOD, etc.
I've had replies to brand new topics, (and I wont go digging for the emails) that have been as quickly bashed for assuming it was an IPOD in design with as innocent a question of: "Can you describe your setup a bit more, as this sounds like it might be an IPOD?"
I tend to try and be kind, but I don't coat it with butter and sugar.
In a case like that, if in question, you could leave out the IPOD bit. Start with the assumption that it is not, and only assume that it is when it turns out to be.
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@scottalanmiller said in Is it bashing to ask what other were thinking:
@DustinB3403 said in Is it bashing to ask what other were thinking:
@scottalanmiller said in Is it bashing to ask what other were thinking:
@Dashrender said in Is it bashing to ask what other were thinking:
Then it becomes even more important to not only post a link to the other thread, but also to spell out what they did, what best practice they should have followed so future searchers can find the thread useful.
I think that that normally is done or is overwhelmingly obvious. If not, definitely ask. Normally it tends to be RAID 5 winchesters, IPOD, etc.
I've had replies to brand new topics, (and I wont go digging for the emails) that have been as quickly bashed for assuming it was an IPOD in design with as innocent a question of: "Can you describe your setup a bit more, as this sounds like it might be an IPOD?"
I tend to try and be kind, but I don't coat it with butter and sugar.
In a case like that, if in question, you could leave out the IPOD bit. Start with the assumption that it is not, and only assume that it is when it turns out to be.
Is that question abusive in someway? To even ask it seems like a perfectly valid question with the way the OP was posted.
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@DustinB3403 Honestly, it was rude and unfriendly. I see no issues with that deletion.
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@Jstear said in Is it bashing to ask what other were thinking:
@DustinB3403 Honestly, it was rude and unfriendly. I see no issues with that deletion.
Rude and unfriendly, sure I agree, but the other 4 pages of replies telling the OP that he was completely out of the realm of reason with the discussion needed to be called out for it.
Look at the other post there, even my own. I was perfectly calm and collected. It's when the topic devolved into "I need to show my superiors because they don't believe what anyone else says"
That the topic gets into the "OK lets be blunt here "YOU"RE an ass, and take a step back and think about it rationally"
No offense meant to you @Jstear.
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@DustinB3403 said in Is it bashing to ask what other were thinking:
@scottalanmiller said in Is it bashing to ask what other were thinking:
@DustinB3403 said in Is it bashing to ask what other were thinking:
@scottalanmiller said in Is it bashing to ask what other were thinking:
@Dashrender said in Is it bashing to ask what other were thinking:
Then it becomes even more important to not only post a link to the other thread, but also to spell out what they did, what best practice they should have followed so future searchers can find the thread useful.
I think that that normally is done or is overwhelmingly obvious. If not, definitely ask. Normally it tends to be RAID 5 winchesters, IPOD, etc.
I've had replies to brand new topics, (and I wont go digging for the emails) that have been as quickly bashed for assuming it was an IPOD in design with as innocent a question of: "Can you describe your setup a bit more, as this sounds like it might be an IPOD?"
I tend to try and be kind, but I don't coat it with butter and sugar.
In a case like that, if in question, you could leave out the IPOD bit. Start with the assumption that it is not, and only assume that it is when it turns out to be.
Is that question abusive in someway? To even ask it seems like a perfectly valid question with the way the OP was posted.
It's suggestive. It says that it "sounds like" something very bad. No need for that. You need to know the architecture either way? Leave it out. You get the same clarification without any way for someone to complain. Sure, you don't SAY that it is an IPOD, but you say that it sounds like one. It's just unnecessary but puts people on the defensive.
Try this technique... always assume that the OP is correct. Give the benefit of the doubt. That's makes you "never wrong." Always clarify when needed, but just assume that they are not doing something foolish. That way, if they do something smart and you didn't know, you gave them credit for it. If they did something foolish, it isn't your fault in any way either way.
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To take one of my grandmother's famous phrases and apply it here: IT's not what you say but how you say it.
I do not keep a tight standard on all of you here for moderation, which you all know. You are all adults. I tend to take the suck it up buttercup philosophy ( in other words if you can't deal with someone being mean.....). Though honestly that isn't always the best course.
You guys all do tend to be a bit abrasive at times when you are sure you a smarter than someone else.... It's a IT trait (or Aspie trait in the case of some of you).
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@DustinB3403 I can't say I disagree, it was a bad topic as a whole, touchy subject.
