Ransomware Management Career Fork
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@wirestyle22 This is the fork that you are looking for.
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But doesn't she worry that staying will cripple your career? A true worrier should be more worried for you staying, as that is the riskier move, right? It's not that she is a worrier that is the problem, that's proximate. Look for the root. Why is she worried about the potential for being out of a job today and not worried about the future of a dramatically hampered career and long term earnings and long term job stability?
From her perspective I have an unbelievable amount of job security, which is true. I could be here for the rest of my life if I wanted to. Between the two of us we will be making around $140k a year. From her standpoint that is more than enough for us. From my standpoint I'm making ob the bottom 20% of my peers. That isn't okay regardless of the situation.
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@wirestyle22 Yeah she's looking at you life and saying, we have enough, we don't need more (today).
But what she isn't seeing is that at another company someone doing the same job is making way more money for exactly the same work.
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@wirestyle22 said in Ransomware Management Career Fork:
From her perspective I have an unbelievable amount of job security, which is true. I could be here for the rest of my life if I wanted to.
That's never true. Those are the statements that I hear from the people with the least job security. Jobs like that are the ones that decrease your pay over time, increase your hours, or go out of business. Thinking that way is very, very risky thinking. Over time you atrophy and the company knows that you lose value and can't find other work. Find any company that doesn't leverage that over time.
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@DustinB3403 said in Ransomware Management Career Fork:
@wirestyle22 Yeah she's looking at you life and saying, we have enough, we don't need more (today).
But what she isn't seeing is that at another company someone doing the same job is making way more money for exactly the same work.
Right but shes coming from a place where she has her masters degree and operated as the working poor for 7 years. Like everyone she is applying her own experiences to the situation. I agree with you guys.
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@wirestyle22 said in Ransomware Management Career Fork:
Right but shes coming from a place where she has her masters degree and operated as the working poor for 7 years. Like everyone she is applying her own experiences to the situation.
I'm unclear how her experience would lead her to taking long term career risks today. What does getting a master's degree and not making much money for a long time have to do with wanting you to risk your financial options and stability down the road?
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If anything, having a Master's degree, one would hope that the lessons around perceived risk and how to protect your long term earnings and good thinking around life investing, critical thinking and such would be things she was practising for seven years. A good university experience should teach her to not be fearful of short term risk when used for long term stability.
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@scottalanmiller said in Ransomware Management Career Fork:
@wirestyle22 said in Ransomware Management Career Fork:
Right but shes coming from a place where she has her masters degree and operated as the working poor for 7 years. Like everyone she is applying her own experiences to the situation.
I'm unclear how her experience would lead her to taking long term career risks today. What does getting a master's degree and not making much money for a long time have to do with wanting you to risk your financial options and stability down the road?
She sees the world from a perspective as someone who has a higher degree of knowledge and little opportunity. She would be more likely to take less risk. I am of the opposite opinion. We are young and should be taking a lot of smart risks.
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@scottalanmiller said in Ransomware Management Career Fork:
If anything, having a Master's degree, one would hope that the lessons around perceived risk and how to protect your long term earnings and good thinking around life investing, critical thinking and such would be things she was practising for seven years. A good university experience should teach her to not be fearful of short term risk when used for long term stability.
Right but based on her experiences it could be long term risk. She can't accurately see the situation for what it is.
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@wirestyle22 said in Ransomware Management Career Fork:
@scottalanmiller said in Ransomware Management Career Fork:
@wirestyle22 said in Ransomware Management Career Fork:
Right but shes coming from a place where she has her masters degree and operated as the working poor for 7 years. Like everyone she is applying her own experiences to the situation.
I'm unclear how her experience would lead her to taking long term career risks today. What does getting a master's degree and not making much money for a long time have to do with wanting you to risk your financial options and stability down the road?
She sees the world from a perspective as someone who has a higher degree of knowledge and little opportunity. She would be more likely to take less risk.
Exactly, yet in this case she's being reckless, both with your stability and income as well as with your options.
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@scottalanmiller said in Ransomware Management Career Fork:
@wirestyle22 said in Ransomware Management Career Fork:
Right but shes coming from a place where she has her masters degree and operated as the working poor for 7 years. Like everyone she is applying her own experiences to the situation.
I'm unclear how her experience would lead her to taking long term career risks today. What does getting a master's degree and not making much money for a long time have to do with wanting you to risk your financial options and stability down the road?
She's responding with emotions, not with logic @scottalanmiller. She's saying you shouldn't take the risk now because things are OK, we have enough (my GF is saying the same things to me) but if we don't throw those dice, we are taking an even bigger gamble that she isn't accounting for.
It's an emotional response not a logical one in these cases. And only responding in a way that they might understand would get them to change their minds. You should understand that.
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@scottalanmiller said in Ransomware Management Career Fork:
@wirestyle22 said in Ransomware Management Career Fork:
@scottalanmiller said in Ransomware Management Career Fork:
@wirestyle22 said in Ransomware Management Career Fork:
Right but shes coming from a place where she has her masters degree and operated as the working poor for 7 years. Like everyone she is applying her own experiences to the situation.
I'm unclear how her experience would lead her to taking long term career risks today. What does getting a master's degree and not making much money for a long time have to do with wanting you to risk your financial options and stability down the road?
She sees the world from a perspective as someone who has a higher degree of knowledge and little opportunity. She would be more likely to take less risk.
Exactly, yet in this case she's being reckless, both with your stability and income as well as with your options.
She would support me regardless but would definitely have a lot of anxiety.
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@wirestyle22 said in Ransomware Management Career Fork:
Right but based on her experiences it could be long term risk. She can't accurately see the situation for what it is.
What is her experience that causes this? Is she of the opinion that school makes you so unemployable that you can't risk giving up low paying jobs? You didn't go to school, right? Why is she applying that fear to you? That feels like the opposite of leveraging her experience.
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@DustinB3403 said in Ransomware Management Career Fork:
She's responding with emotions, not with logic @scottalanmiller.
That's fine, but that's not applying experience. That's ignoring experience.
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@scottalanmiller said in Ransomware Management Career Fork:
@wirestyle22 said in Ransomware Management Career Fork:
Right but based on her experiences it could be long term risk. She can't accurately see the situation for what it is.
What is her experience that causes this? Is she of the opinion that school makes you so unemployable that you can't risk giving up low paying jobs? You didn't go to school, right? Why is she applying that fear to you? That feels like the opposite of leveraging her experience.
Lack of opportunity is the experience influencing her. That is an emotional response for sure.
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@scottalanmiller said in Ransomware Management Career Fork:
@DustinB3403 said in Ransomware Management Career Fork:
She's responding with emotions, not with logic @scottalanmiller.
That's fine, but that's not applying experience. That's ignoring experience.
Emotions often trump experience. (at least initially?)
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@wirestyle22 said in Ransomware Management Career Fork:
Lack of opportunity is the experience.
But she knows that nothing that she has gone through applies to you, right? I think that @DustinB3403 is correct, none of this is applying experience, it's ignoring observation and experience, right?
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@scottalanmiller said in Ransomware Management Career Fork:
@wirestyle22 said in Ransomware Management Career Fork:
Lack of opportunity is the experience.
But she knows that nothing that she has gone through applies to you, right? I think that @DustinB3403 is correct, none of this is applying experience, it's ignoring observation and experience, right?
Yes conceptually she does. That doesn't mean she isn't being influenced heavily by fear. She has this fear because she went through times of extreme poverty herself. So I think it's both.
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What I'm trying to get at is that she can't be applying experience (at least not in a useful way) or observation. Nor is she risk averse.
@DustinB3403 is correct, I think. This is purely emotion and irrational.
What @wirestyle22 has to understand before having this conversation is that he can't use this as "her experience says this" or "she is being conservative" because both of those things are false and will lead to a useless discussion with her.
Understanding that she is ignoring what she has learned AND being reckless because she is feeling anxious is the problem. That can be tackled, but if you ignore those facts, she will reason that they are being risky and he'll be unable to dispute it.
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@wirestyle22 said in Ransomware Management Career Fork:
@scottalanmiller said in Ransomware Management Career Fork:
@wirestyle22 said in Ransomware Management Career Fork:
Lack of opportunity is the experience.
But she knows that nothing that she has gone through applies to you, right? I think that @DustinB3403 is correct, none of this is applying experience, it's ignoring observation and experience, right?
Yes conceptually she does. That doesn't mean she isn't being influenced heavily by fear. She has this fear because she went through times of extreme poverty herself. So I think it's both.
The only way to discuss this with someone being emotional is to take the emotion out of the equation for her. Tell her how employable you actually are and that there are greater risks of losing your current position or at least good money by not considering other job opportunities.
If you respond with (something like this) "I'm making x now and will likely end up at most making Y within the next 5 years if I stay where I'm at, add in the cost of life, and we are actually losing money.
If I take a tiny bit of risk today, and find a position that has greater opportunity then we are better off today for the next 5 years, when compared to what I'm making today (x). "
