Upstate NY ranked Worst Place to Live
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@Dashrender said:
Huh - You're laying a lot of the blame on the parents there. While it's likely true, it's definitely not 100%. My friends have a daughter who got pregnant at 17. They are some of the most involved parents I know, and super supportive.
Kids do what kids do. and sex is one of those things. The child definitely has to take some of the blame, if not most of it.
When I was a senior in high school, 25% of the girls by 14 were pregnant in the freshman class. 25%!! That's not an outlying case, it's just normal life in rural areas. And not just in the US, everywhere.
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@DustinB3403 said:
Quoted from the article...
A recent collection of photos by photographer Brenda Kenneally titled “Upstate Girls” highlights the gripping poverty of Upstate. Brenda asked a 14 year old pregnant teenager if she could photograph her over the course of her pregnancy in 2003. After the girl said yes, what came next was ten years of cataloging the poverty that surrounded the girl’s life. The photos made it into the New York Times, causing outrage across the internet over certain behaviors of those being photographed.
She's 14 and pregnant. Now this doesn't need any sort of critical thinking, but this young girl was obviously grown up in a household with shithead parents.
She's 14, she has no idea how to earn a living, much less raise a child.
There is literally nothing the local government could've done to prevent a child pregnancy, it's much like the law limiting the number of rounds someone can have it their gun.
She was clearly raised without any parental supervision or guidance. Likely her parents condoned the relationship with the boy who got her pregnant.
Not to defend the parents or children. When I was in highschool (graduated in '07) we had a several pregnancies to kids who should have known better. I don't think it was 25% as @scottalanmiller but easily 5-6%. We are fairly rural as well my graduating class was 96. We also had a fairly extensive sexual education curriculum, well above state standards from what I've seen at other schools.
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@scottalanmiller said:
When I was a senior in high school, 25% of the girls by 14 were pregnant in the freshman class. 25%!! That's not an outlying case, it's just normal life in rural areas. And not just in the US, everywhere.
This is a critical concept a lot of people seems to not even think about anymore because sex is something that is taboo in the US.
We are less than 100 years since the SOCIAL change that brought about this whole too young thing. Also, this is strictly a advanced nation thing. The rest of the planet and human evolution disagrees with it.
I am not even going to weigh in on the right or wrong, in this comment because it would all be my opinion. Just pointing out fact.
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Yes, I agree, very much an American concept that the peak healthy child bearing years are too young to be having kids. Even in Europe they don't have this concept. And because the rest of the world doesn't have the taboo around it, they don't have the social problems around it either.
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@scottalanmiller said:
Yes, I agree, very much an American concept that the peak healthy child bearing years are too young to be having kids. Even in Europe they don't have this concept. And because the rest of the world doesn't have the taboo around it, they don't have the social problems around it either.
What's the acceptable child bearing age in Europe?
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@Dashrender said:
@scottalanmiller said:
Yes, I agree, very much an American concept that the peak healthy child bearing years are too young to be having kids. Even in Europe they don't have this concept. And because the rest of the world doesn't have the taboo around it, they don't have the social problems around it either.
What's the acceptable child bearing age in Europe?
Depends on the country. In much of it something like 15+, but 14 isn't some crazy number, just on the young side. Basically everything is 5-7 years younger there. Drinking age is 14 - 16 normally. For example.
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The drinking thing I can actually understand.
What is the age of majority in Europe, in general?
Is it more expected/understood that the parents of the 15+ year old that is having a child to be staying home with their parents for a while raising that child?
How does that effect schooling?
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@Dashrender said:
The drinking thing I can actually understand.
What is the age of majority in Europe, in general?
Is it more expected/understood that the parents of the 15+ year old that is having a child to be staying home with their parents for a while raising that child?
Throughout Europe the Age of Consent is now 14+. Spain was the last one to raise it from 13 a few months ago. But in Europe, kids live with their parents, generally, at least until married and often even when their own kids are little. So living at home with your parents while you have kids of your own is totally normal, even if you weren't having kids until you were 25. The average age of moving out from your parents' home is in the late 20s and climbing.
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I've heard that's becoming the norm in the US too, at least the living with parents late into the 20's, not sure about having kids and still living with parents.
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@Dashrender said:
I've heard that's becoming the norm in the US too, at least the living with parents late into the 20's, not sure about having kids and still living with parents.
This is fairly common in Upstate NY that I've seen. But we already see that it is one of the worst places to live so it may not be indicative of the rest of the US.
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@Dashrender said:
I've heard that's becoming the norm in the US too, at least the living with parents late into the 20's, not sure about having kids and still living with parents.
Few people want to be married and living with their parents. Although our housemates from Spain are in their late 20s (28/26) and while not married are basically married and live together with his parents. They don't like it, but it isn't super abnormal either.
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I think there is still a pretty deep line in the sand with regards to living with parents into the 20's vs raising your kids in your parents house.
I'd imagine that the situation applies.... (child pregnancy, child out of wedlock etc)
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@DustinB3403 said:
I think there is still a pretty deep line in the sand with regards to living with parents into the 20's vs raising your kids in your parents house.
I'd imagine that the situation applies.... (child pregnancy, child out of wedlock etc)
Not really. It is traditional to do both in nearly all cultures. You live at home a decade past the average child bearing ages and naturally you are raising those kids at home. It is purely an American taboo that you are sensing. The rest of the world doesn't have that feeling at all. Some people specifically move back home so that their parents can help raise the kids.
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@DustinB3403 said:
I think there is still a pretty deep line in the sand with regards to living with parents into the 20's vs raising your kids in your parents house.
I'd imagine that the situation applies.... (child pregnancy, child out of wedlock etc)
We may end up living with my parents again in a few months (if our house sells). We won't be there for long. Rent around us in upstate NY is insane so it would be much more economical to do.
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@DustinB3403 said:
I think there is still a pretty deep line in the sand with regards to living with parents into the 20's vs raising your kids in your parents house.
I'd imagine that the situation applies.... (child pregnancy, child out of wedlock etc)
Ohhh so not true. Three of my wife's siblings have all lived at her parents home with married partner and kids... sure, child pregnancy, but they were adults in their late 20's (29/31) yet still living with the parents.
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@coliver Want a few rooms to rent? I'm sure I'm cheaper than the common land lord
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@DustinB3403 said:
@coliver Want a few rooms to rent? I'm sure I'm cheaper than the common land lord
Probably, if you look for a rental 2-3 hours north of us generally it is much less expensive. 1-2 bedroom apartments around us regularly go for 800-1000$.
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@coliver Where in NY are you?
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@coliver said:
@DustinB3403 said:
@coliver Want a few rooms to rent? I'm sure I'm cheaper than the common land lord
Probably, if you look for a rental 2-3 hours north of us generally it is much less expensive. 1-2 bedroom apartments around us regularly go for 800-1000$.
that's what they go for in Omaha, NE.
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I couldn't even thing about living with my parents now at 28. I moved out when I was 19 and haven't looked back since.
I dislike the area they live in very much and my parents are very religious (judgmental).
