This is interesting. I unfortunately don't have the deep understanding of everyone contributing to this topic, but i'm taking it onboard as best I can.
I'd really throw effort into learning Ansible (at cursory glance it made more sense to me than Salt), if I could use it the manner I think @scottalanmiller is describing. I'm currently using different tools to wrangle our small fleet of devices into some sort of order. This is mostly MDM suite(s) and exploiting the Windows 10 PC options - but no server config management tools utilised as such (I have only a few, so return on potential time invested in Ansible, is very minimal).
JumpCloud has command runners for Linux, Windows and Mac..... I've been using it for Chocolatey and Powershell stuff on PCs (on and off LAN). There's an agent installed on your endpoint obviously.