Sharepoint farm report
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If anyone wants to run a basic report on your SharePoint farm, you can use the spfarm report. Very easy, just run the powershell command from one of your SP server and it will gather all details and created a report with details like the farm configurations, health warnings, services installed on each server etc
https://spsfarmreport.codeplex.com/ -
As you are not from the American Midwest, I wonder if you made the "farm report" joke on purpose?
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No, i was asked for one of my SP farm report after installation and found this one