Okay, we got it figured out. Works well, but is not intuitive.

You go to "New Conversation" and then you have to just make a new for a new conversation. Only then can you add people to it. Totally works, just.... why would you ever think to do that?

MySQL or MariaDB entries take like a millisecond, literally. It's so blinding fast. It's the same kind of transaction that has to happen when a filesystem writes where a file is. It's tiny and effectively instantaneous. It would be pretty while if the database writing that a file was being stored could be measured in any way through performance, as it would happen at the same time that the file is being transferred.

Compare it to driving a load of corn from New York to California. And while doing so, needed to make a not in a log book that says "Shipped Corn to California". The one action, the actual moving of the corn, takes like 40 hours. The logging in the book happens in like 15 seconds. And you can make the log entry anytime during the 40 hour process and have it happen simultaneously for zero performance impact on the shipment process.

Update:
I was able to get it working with a self-signed certificate and the functionality is great. I had NC connected to the OO server with https://localip That worked fine but once left my LAN, from the web it tried to resolve the local ip. That of course will not work and it does zero good to only work while you are on the LAN. I was unsuccessful at getting the self-signed cert to work behind nginx reverse proxy.
Is it possible to just have nginx forward http to the OO server and:

Allow Letsencrypt to verify and issue the certs Actually function behind the proxy if the actual cert is on the OO server directly. I cannot find any good documentation of OO working properly behind the reverse proxy in the normal sense.