Non-IT News Thread
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@wirestyle22 I love pork roll! Moved to Florida from Jersey.
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@scottalanmiller said in Non-IT News Thread:
For those considering rapid relocation.... Panama and Albania offer Americans (currently, don't be surprised if this goes away) six months and one year of residency and right to work, no questions asked. Canada and the UK offer six months right to live. France, Spain and Kosovo have some of the friendliest paths to citizenship.
What's the job market like it those areas? Specifically IT related jobs.
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@coliver said in Non-IT News Thread:
@wirestyle22 said in Non-IT News Thread:
@coliver said in Non-IT News Thread:
@wirestyle22 said in Non-IT News Thread:
@coliver said in Non-IT News Thread:
@scottalanmiller said in Non-IT News Thread:
@coliver said in Non-IT News Thread:
@scottalanmiller said in Non-IT News Thread:
@coliver said in Non-IT News Thread:
I'd much rather move overseas to Europe at this point. Would need a place with lots of Dairy and lots of IT though.
Dairy is pretty common in Europe. They drink milk just like Americans do. And they don't import it from Asia or anything weird.
Which is funny... because people I know in the industry, connections again, are telling me we export most of our milk as powdered to the Asian markets. I haven't been able to verify that though.
Well sure, because Asia is short of food production. Europe, however, makes a LOT of food. It's an agricultural boom area.
Guess I'll have to keep an eye open then. Moving is hard as we have lots of family in the area.
I can't leave NJ for the same reason. My fiance is very close with her family.
Yep, I'm like your fiance. I spent most of my childhood moving from place-to-place. Didn't have a permanent home until middle school. Thankfully that was in my parent's hometown with lots of family close by.
Between the demands of my job, studying for my CCIE, managing the servers for two doctors offices (friends of mine) and planning for a wedding I don't understand how our families can have any expectations of seeing us in the near future. You'd think they'd at least be coming to us, but no.
EDIT: The real crazy thing too is it's only her family. My brother lives in LA, my dad who lived locally passed away and my mom lives in England. What would we do if we had to appease two families? How do you guys deal with this stuff? I established boundaries for myself but my fiance just does whatever they want. It's rough.
My wife's family is 6 hours away. We see them once every month or so. My parent's, and an uncle, live 8 miles from where we live now. We see them several times a week.
I guess this question would be more for your wife then as I'm in her position. I'm all for family but I don't think that people in our situation (professionally oriented, responsible, extremely busy people) can reasonably accommodate their "needs". Her Dad's retired. Like dude, drive here.
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@alex.olynyk said in Non-IT News Thread:
@wirestyle22 I love pork roll! Moved to Florida from Jersey.
I'm glad someone understands. @scottalanmiller must have been away for too long.
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@wirestyle22 said in Non-IT News Thread:
@coliver said in Non-IT News Thread:
@wirestyle22 said in Non-IT News Thread:
@coliver said in Non-IT News Thread:
@wirestyle22 said in Non-IT News Thread:
@coliver said in Non-IT News Thread:
@scottalanmiller said in Non-IT News Thread:
@coliver said in Non-IT News Thread:
@scottalanmiller said in Non-IT News Thread:
@coliver said in Non-IT News Thread:
I'd much rather move overseas to Europe at this point. Would need a place with lots of Dairy and lots of IT though.
Dairy is pretty common in Europe. They drink milk just like Americans do. And they don't import it from Asia or anything weird.
Which is funny... because people I know in the industry, connections again, are telling me we export most of our milk as powdered to the Asian markets. I haven't been able to verify that though.
Well sure, because Asia is short of food production. Europe, however, makes a LOT of food. It's an agricultural boom area.
Guess I'll have to keep an eye open then. Moving is hard as we have lots of family in the area.
I can't leave NJ for the same reason. My fiance is very close with her family.
Yep, I'm like your fiance. I spent most of my childhood moving from place-to-place. Didn't have a permanent home until middle school. Thankfully that was in my parent's hometown with lots of family close by.
Between the demands of my job, studying for my CCIE, managing the servers for two doctors offices (friends of mine) and planning for a wedding I don't understand how our families can have any expectations of seeing us in the near future. You'd think they'd at least be coming to us, but no.
EDIT: The real crazy thing too is it's only her family. My brother lives in LA, my dad who lived locally passed away and my mom lives in England. What would we do if we had to appease two families? How do you guys deal with this stuff? I established boundaries for myself but my fiance just does whatever they want. It's rough.
My wife's family is 6 hours away. We see them once every month or so. My parent's, and an uncle, live 8 miles from where we live now. We see them several times a week.
I guess this question would be more for your wife then as I'm in her position. I'm all for family but I don't think that people in our situation (professionally oriented, responsible, extremely busy people) can reasonably accommodate their "needs". Her Dad's retired. Like dude, drive here.
We don't really have these issues thankfully. Unless it is an emergency all visits are planned in advance.
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@coliver said in Non-IT News Thread:
@wirestyle22 said in Non-IT News Thread:
@coliver said in Non-IT News Thread:
@wirestyle22 said in Non-IT News Thread:
@coliver said in Non-IT News Thread:
@wirestyle22 said in Non-IT News Thread:
@coliver said in Non-IT News Thread:
@scottalanmiller said in Non-IT News Thread:
@coliver said in Non-IT News Thread:
@scottalanmiller said in Non-IT News Thread:
@coliver said in Non-IT News Thread:
I'd much rather move overseas to Europe at this point. Would need a place with lots of Dairy and lots of IT though.
Dairy is pretty common in Europe. They drink milk just like Americans do. And they don't import it from Asia or anything weird.
Which is funny... because people I know in the industry, connections again, are telling me we export most of our milk as powdered to the Asian markets. I haven't been able to verify that though.
Well sure, because Asia is short of food production. Europe, however, makes a LOT of food. It's an agricultural boom area.
Guess I'll have to keep an eye open then. Moving is hard as we have lots of family in the area.
I can't leave NJ for the same reason. My fiance is very close with her family.
Yep, I'm like your fiance. I spent most of my childhood moving from place-to-place. Didn't have a permanent home until middle school. Thankfully that was in my parent's hometown with lots of family close by.
Between the demands of my job, studying for my CCIE, managing the servers for two doctors offices (friends of mine) and planning for a wedding I don't understand how our families can have any expectations of seeing us in the near future. You'd think they'd at least be coming to us, but no.
EDIT: The real crazy thing too is it's only her family. My brother lives in LA, my dad who lived locally passed away and my mom lives in England. What would we do if we had to appease two families? How do you guys deal with this stuff? I established boundaries for myself but my fiance just does whatever they want. It's rough.
My wife's family is 6 hours away. We see them once every month or so. My parent's, and an uncle, live 8 miles from where we live now. We see them several times a week.
I guess this question would be more for your wife then as I'm in her position. I'm all for family but I don't think that people in our situation (professionally oriented, responsible, extremely busy people) can reasonably accommodate their "needs". Her Dad's retired. Like dude, drive here.
We don't really have these issues thankfully. Unless it is an emergency all visits are planned in advance.
Honest question. Do you think I'm being a dick for asking these sort of questions? Her parents are divorced and her dad alone wants to see us 2-3 times a week. If they were married it'd be different because we'd see everyone at the same time and it'd be done. We have to see her Mom and Dad separately. How can 2-3 days a week be reasonable in this situation? It's crazy to me.
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@wirestyle22 said in Non-IT News Thread:
@coliver said in Non-IT News Thread:
@wirestyle22 said in Non-IT News Thread:
@coliver said in Non-IT News Thread:
@wirestyle22 said in Non-IT News Thread:
@coliver said in Non-IT News Thread:
@wirestyle22 said in Non-IT News Thread:
@coliver said in Non-IT News Thread:
@scottalanmiller said in Non-IT News Thread:
@coliver said in Non-IT News Thread:
@scottalanmiller said in Non-IT News Thread:
@coliver said in Non-IT News Thread:
I'd much rather move overseas to Europe at this point. Would need a place with lots of Dairy and lots of IT though.
Dairy is pretty common in Europe. They drink milk just like Americans do. And they don't import it from Asia or anything weird.
Which is funny... because people I know in the industry, connections again, are telling me we export most of our milk as powdered to the Asian markets. I haven't been able to verify that though.
Well sure, because Asia is short of food production. Europe, however, makes a LOT of food. It's an agricultural boom area.
Guess I'll have to keep an eye open then. Moving is hard as we have lots of family in the area.
I can't leave NJ for the same reason. My fiance is very close with her family.
Yep, I'm like your fiance. I spent most of my childhood moving from place-to-place. Didn't have a permanent home until middle school. Thankfully that was in my parent's hometown with lots of family close by.
Between the demands of my job, studying for my CCIE, managing the servers for two doctors offices (friends of mine) and planning for a wedding I don't understand how our families can have any expectations of seeing us in the near future. You'd think they'd at least be coming to us, but no.
EDIT: The real crazy thing too is it's only her family. My brother lives in LA, my dad who lived locally passed away and my mom lives in England. What would we do if we had to appease two families? How do you guys deal with this stuff? I established boundaries for myself but my fiance just does whatever they want. It's rough.
My wife's family is 6 hours away. We see them once every month or so. My parent's, and an uncle, live 8 miles from where we live now. We see them several times a week.
I guess this question would be more for your wife then as I'm in her position. I'm all for family but I don't think that people in our situation (professionally oriented, responsible, extremely busy people) can reasonably accommodate their "needs". Her Dad's retired. Like dude, drive here.
We don't really have these issues thankfully. Unless it is an emergency all visits are planned in advance.
Honest question. Do you think I'm being a dick for asking these sort of questions? Her parents are divorced and her dad alone wants to see us 2-3 times a week. If they were married it'd be different because we'd see everyone at the same time and it'd be done. We have to see her Mom and Dad separately. How can 2-3 days a week be reasonable in this situation? It's crazy to me.
That I'm not sure. I have never been in that situation. I will say even though my parents are close by there are times when we go weeks without seeing them. It is rare but such is being busy.
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@coliver said in Non-IT News Thread:
@wirestyle22 said in Non-IT News Thread:
@coliver said in Non-IT News Thread:
@wirestyle22 said in Non-IT News Thread:
@coliver said in Non-IT News Thread:
@wirestyle22 said in Non-IT News Thread:
@coliver said in Non-IT News Thread:
@wirestyle22 said in Non-IT News Thread:
@coliver said in Non-IT News Thread:
@scottalanmiller said in Non-IT News Thread:
@coliver said in Non-IT News Thread:
@scottalanmiller said in Non-IT News Thread:
@coliver said in Non-IT News Thread:
I'd much rather move overseas to Europe at this point. Would need a place with lots of Dairy and lots of IT though.
Dairy is pretty common in Europe. They drink milk just like Americans do. And they don't import it from Asia or anything weird.
Which is funny... because people I know in the industry, connections again, are telling me we export most of our milk as powdered to the Asian markets. I haven't been able to verify that though.
Well sure, because Asia is short of food production. Europe, however, makes a LOT of food. It's an agricultural boom area.
Guess I'll have to keep an eye open then. Moving is hard as we have lots of family in the area.
I can't leave NJ for the same reason. My fiance is very close with her family.
Yep, I'm like your fiance. I spent most of my childhood moving from place-to-place. Didn't have a permanent home until middle school. Thankfully that was in my parent's hometown with lots of family close by.
Between the demands of my job, studying for my CCIE, managing the servers for two doctors offices (friends of mine) and planning for a wedding I don't understand how our families can have any expectations of seeing us in the near future. You'd think they'd at least be coming to us, but no.
EDIT: The real crazy thing too is it's only her family. My brother lives in LA, my dad who lived locally passed away and my mom lives in England. What would we do if we had to appease two families? How do you guys deal with this stuff? I established boundaries for myself but my fiance just does whatever they want. It's rough.
My wife's family is 6 hours away. We see them once every month or so. My parent's, and an uncle, live 8 miles from where we live now. We see them several times a week.
I guess this question would be more for your wife then as I'm in her position. I'm all for family but I don't think that people in our situation (professionally oriented, responsible, extremely busy people) can reasonably accommodate their "needs". Her Dad's retired. Like dude, drive here.
We don't really have these issues thankfully. Unless it is an emergency all visits are planned in advance.
Honest question. Do you think I'm being a dick for asking these sort of questions? Her parents are divorced and her dad alone wants to see us 2-3 times a week. If they were married it'd be different because we'd see everyone at the same time and it'd be done. We have to see her Mom and Dad separately. How can 2-3 days a week be reasonable in this situation? It's crazy to me.
That I'm not sure. I have never been in that situation. I will say even though my parents are close by there are times when we go weeks without seeing them. It is rare but such is being busy.
I think the request is unreasonable. My fiance said its going to change with her new job though. We'll see if that actually happens.
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Honest question. Do you think I'm being a dick for asking these sort of questions? Her parents are divorced and her dad alone wants to see us 2-3 times a week. If they were married it'd be different because we'd see everyone at the same time and it'd be done. We have to see her Mom and Dad separately. How can 2-3 days a week be reasonable in this situation? It's crazy to me.
Just start BEING a dick, perhaps the visits will stop.
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@BRRABill said in Non-IT News Thread:
Honest question. Do you think I'm being a dick for asking these sort of questions? Her parents are divorced and her dad alone wants to see us 2-3 times a week. If they were married it'd be different because we'd see everyone at the same time and it'd be done. We have to see her Mom and Dad separately. How can 2-3 days a week be reasonable in this situation? It's crazy to me.
Just start BEING a dick, perhaps the visits will stop.
My detractors would say to just emulate me and you would nail that.
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@wirestyle22 said in Non-IT News Thread:
@alex.olynyk said in Non-IT News Thread:
@wirestyle22 I love pork roll! Moved to Florida from Jersey.
I'm glad someone understands. @scottalanmiller must have been away for too long.
I was a vegetarian long before living there.
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@wirestyle22 said in Non-IT News Thread:
EDIT: The real crazy thing too is it's only her family. My brother lives in LA, my dad who lived locally passed away and my mom lives in England. What would we do if we had to appease two families? How do you guys deal with this stuff? I established boundaries for myself but my fiance just does whatever they want. It's rough.
There is no easy answer here. We have this too, we have shared family in NY, her family in Texas. We don't really have the issues like a lot of people do, but we could easily with where people are located. I know a lot of people who have one person totally beholden to their family and are controlled remotely by them as to location, jobs, etc. It can be a crippling problem.
You can try a rational conversation.... talk about the three polarities (can three things be polar?), her family, your family and yourselves. You have the needs of her family, the needs of yours and then what is right for the two of you independent of those. Make everyone discuss what the priorities are. Are your family needs as important as hers? Are your individual needs as a couple more important than family obligations?
No simple answer beyond that, but you need to establish a framework for the conversation.
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I know a lot of people who have had their careers crippled or lost because of these kinds of things. Family obligations making them give up opportunties or jobs and putting them on a track for dependency. It can be very bad in the worst cases. Even my cousin has this. He had a career, more or less, but his wife couldn't be away from her parents and he had to give up his career completely and move back home and spend several years living with family members while he tried to establish a job that could pay the rent. They are figuring things out, but at every turn he is limited dramatically by being limited to a tiny local area where there are no job opportunities in any field.
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@wirestyle22 said in Non-IT News Thread:
@coliver said in Non-IT News Thread:
@wirestyle22 said in Non-IT News Thread:
@coliver said in Non-IT News Thread:
@wirestyle22 said in Non-IT News Thread:
@coliver said in Non-IT News Thread:
@wirestyle22 said in Non-IT News Thread:
@coliver said in Non-IT News Thread:
@scottalanmiller said in Non-IT News Thread:
@coliver said in Non-IT News Thread:
@scottalanmiller said in Non-IT News Thread:
@coliver said in Non-IT News Thread:
I'd much rather move overseas to Europe at this point. Would need a place with lots of Dairy and lots of IT though.
Dairy is pretty common in Europe. They drink milk just like Americans do. And they don't import it from Asia or anything weird.
Which is funny... because people I know in the industry, connections again, are telling me we export most of our milk as powdered to the Asian markets. I haven't been able to verify that though.
Well sure, because Asia is short of food production. Europe, however, makes a LOT of food. It's an agricultural boom area.
Guess I'll have to keep an eye open then. Moving is hard as we have lots of family in the area.
I can't leave NJ for the same reason. My fiance is very close with her family.
Yep, I'm like your fiance. I spent most of my childhood moving from place-to-place. Didn't have a permanent home until middle school. Thankfully that was in my parent's hometown with lots of family close by.
Between the demands of my job, studying for my CCIE, managing the servers for two doctors offices (friends of mine) and planning for a wedding I don't understand how our families can have any expectations of seeing us in the near future. You'd think they'd at least be coming to us, but no.
EDIT: The real crazy thing too is it's only her family. My brother lives in LA, my dad who lived locally passed away and my mom lives in England. What would we do if we had to appease two families? How do you guys deal with this stuff? I established boundaries for myself but my fiance just does whatever they want. It's rough.
My wife's family is 6 hours away. We see them once every month or so. My parent's, and an uncle, live 8 miles from where we live now. We see them several times a week.
I guess this question would be more for your wife then as I'm in her position. I'm all for family but I don't think that people in our situation (professionally oriented, responsible, extremely busy people) can reasonably accommodate their "needs". Her Dad's retired. Like dude, drive here.
We don't really have these issues thankfully. Unless it is an emergency all visits are planned in advance.
Honest question. Do you think I'm being a dick for asking these sort of questions? Her parents are divorced and her dad alone wants to see us 2-3 times a week. If they were married it'd be different because we'd see everyone at the same time and it'd be done. We have to see her Mom and Dad separately. How can 2-3 days a week be reasonable in this situation? It's crazy to me.
Well, my parents are dead, but if they weren't I'd feel the same way because I really didn't like either of them. As for in laws, it depends. My current wife's father is a pretty cool guy, her mother is a drug addict disaster. They aren't together, we never see her mother, thank god. As far as exwives go, pretty much fairly good, except one wife her siblings were a nightmare, breaking into our house, showing up drunk all the time trying to start fights with me, etc. I hate family beyond my immediate family and my siblings. So no, I don't think you're a dick, I understand.
When it comes to basing things on family, I consider business before family in the sense that without my business my family would be living in dire poverty in post-communist hell. My exwives, both of them, their families in some way or another tried to prevent us from moving or doing things which ended up making me wealthy. I don't let others stop me from accomplishing my goals, especially people without goals. Interestingly this hasn't stopped all the aforementioned people for asking me for money all the time (exwives not included, they're entitled to it for putting up with me).
Disclaimer: I don't really like anyone and most people don't like me, YMMV
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@tonyshowoff said in Non-IT News Thread:
@wirestyle22 said in Non-IT News Thread:
@coliver said in Non-IT News Thread:
@wirestyle22 said in Non-IT News Thread:
@coliver said in Non-IT News Thread:
@wirestyle22 said in Non-IT News Thread:
@coliver said in Non-IT News Thread:
@wirestyle22 said in Non-IT News Thread:
@coliver said in Non-IT News Thread:
@scottalanmiller said in Non-IT News Thread:
@coliver said in Non-IT News Thread:
@scottalanmiller said in Non-IT News Thread:
@coliver said in Non-IT News Thread:
I'd much rather move overseas to Europe at this point. Would need a place with lots of Dairy and lots of IT though.
Dairy is pretty common in Europe. They drink milk just like Americans do. And they don't import it from Asia or anything weird.
Which is funny... because people I know in the industry, connections again, are telling me we export most of our milk as powdered to the Asian markets. I haven't been able to verify that though.
Well sure, because Asia is short of food production. Europe, however, makes a LOT of food. It's an agricultural boom area.
Guess I'll have to keep an eye open then. Moving is hard as we have lots of family in the area.
I can't leave NJ for the same reason. My fiance is very close with her family.
Yep, I'm like your fiance. I spent most of my childhood moving from place-to-place. Didn't have a permanent home until middle school. Thankfully that was in my parent's hometown with lots of family close by.
Between the demands of my job, studying for my CCIE, managing the servers for two doctors offices (friends of mine) and planning for a wedding I don't understand how our families can have any expectations of seeing us in the near future. You'd think they'd at least be coming to us, but no.
EDIT: The real crazy thing too is it's only her family. My brother lives in LA, my dad who lived locally passed away and my mom lives in England. What would we do if we had to appease two families? How do you guys deal with this stuff? I established boundaries for myself but my fiance just does whatever they want. It's rough.
My wife's family is 6 hours away. We see them once every month or so. My parent's, and an uncle, live 8 miles from where we live now. We see them several times a week.
I guess this question would be more for your wife then as I'm in her position. I'm all for family but I don't think that people in our situation (professionally oriented, responsible, extremely busy people) can reasonably accommodate their "needs". Her Dad's retired. Like dude, drive here.
We don't really have these issues thankfully. Unless it is an emergency all visits are planned in advance.
Honest question. Do you think I'm being a dick for asking these sort of questions? Her parents are divorced and her dad alone wants to see us 2-3 times a week. If they were married it'd be different because we'd see everyone at the same time and it'd be done. We have to see her Mom and Dad separately. How can 2-3 days a week be reasonable in this situation? It's crazy to me.
Well, my parents are dead, but if they weren't I'd feel the same way because I really didn't like either of them. As for in laws, it depends. My current wife's father is a pretty cool guy, her mother is a drug addict disaster. They aren't together, we never see her mother, thank god. As far as exwives go, pretty much fairly good, except one wife her siblings were a nightmare, breaking into our house, showing up drunk all the time trying to start fights with me, etc. I hate family beyond my immediate family and my siblings. So no, I don't think you're a dick, I understand.
When it comes to basing things on family, I consider business before family in the sense that without my business my family would be living in dire poverty in post-communist hell. My exwives, both of them, their families in some way or another tried to prevent us from moving or doing things which ended up making me wealthy. I don't let others stop me from accomplishing my goals, especially people without goals. Interestingly this hasn't stopped all the aforementioned people for asking me for money all the time (exwives not included, they're entitled to it for putting up with me).
Disclaimer: I don't really like anyone and most people don't like me, YMMV
I am totally a family first guy. And my employers know it when they hire me... But I also realize that sometimes putting family first means I have to put my job first. My current job, I have no problems with that at all... In an IT emergency, I'd be the first on campus and the last to leave... but if the CXO needs help with his mouse that has dead batteries while I'm at my kid's ball game, or his pre-k graduation... Yeah, it can wait. That got me in hot water a few times at my last job, but I stood my ground every time.
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@dafyre said in Non-IT News Thread:
@tonyshowoff said in Non-IT News Thread:
@wirestyle22 said in Non-IT News Thread:
@coliver said in Non-IT News Thread:
@wirestyle22 said in Non-IT News Thread:
@coliver said in Non-IT News Thread:
@wirestyle22 said in Non-IT News Thread:
@coliver said in Non-IT News Thread:
@wirestyle22 said in Non-IT News Thread:
@coliver said in Non-IT News Thread:
@scottalanmiller said in Non-IT News Thread:
@coliver said in Non-IT News Thread:
@scottalanmiller said in Non-IT News Thread:
@coliver said in Non-IT News Thread:
I'd much rather move overseas to Europe at this point. Would need a place with lots of Dairy and lots of IT though.
Dairy is pretty common in Europe. They drink milk just like Americans do. And they don't import it from Asia or anything weird.
Which is funny... because people I know in the industry, connections again, are telling me we export most of our milk as powdered to the Asian markets. I haven't been able to verify that though.
Well sure, because Asia is short of food production. Europe, however, makes a LOT of food. It's an agricultural boom area.
Guess I'll have to keep an eye open then. Moving is hard as we have lots of family in the area.
I can't leave NJ for the same reason. My fiance is very close with her family.
Yep, I'm like your fiance. I spent most of my childhood moving from place-to-place. Didn't have a permanent home until middle school. Thankfully that was in my parent's hometown with lots of family close by.
Between the demands of my job, studying for my CCIE, managing the servers for two doctors offices (friends of mine) and planning for a wedding I don't understand how our families can have any expectations of seeing us in the near future. You'd think they'd at least be coming to us, but no.
EDIT: The real crazy thing too is it's only her family. My brother lives in LA, my dad who lived locally passed away and my mom lives in England. What would we do if we had to appease two families? How do you guys deal with this stuff? I established boundaries for myself but my fiance just does whatever they want. It's rough.
My wife's family is 6 hours away. We see them once every month or so. My parent's, and an uncle, live 8 miles from where we live now. We see them several times a week.
I guess this question would be more for your wife then as I'm in her position. I'm all for family but I don't think that people in our situation (professionally oriented, responsible, extremely busy people) can reasonably accommodate their "needs". Her Dad's retired. Like dude, drive here.
We don't really have these issues thankfully. Unless it is an emergency all visits are planned in advance.
Honest question. Do you think I'm being a dick for asking these sort of questions? Her parents are divorced and her dad alone wants to see us 2-3 times a week. If they were married it'd be different because we'd see everyone at the same time and it'd be done. We have to see her Mom and Dad separately. How can 2-3 days a week be reasonable in this situation? It's crazy to me.
Well, my parents are dead, but if they weren't I'd feel the same way because I really didn't like either of them. As for in laws, it depends. My current wife's father is a pretty cool guy, her mother is a drug addict disaster. They aren't together, we never see her mother, thank god. As far as exwives go, pretty much fairly good, except one wife her siblings were a nightmare, breaking into our house, showing up drunk all the time trying to start fights with me, etc. I hate family beyond my immediate family and my siblings. So no, I don't think you're a dick, I understand.
When it comes to basing things on family, I consider business before family in the sense that without my business my family would be living in dire poverty in post-communist hell. My exwives, both of them, their families in some way or another tried to prevent us from moving or doing things which ended up making me wealthy. I don't let others stop me from accomplishing my goals, especially people without goals. Interestingly this hasn't stopped all the aforementioned people for asking me for money all the time (exwives not included, they're entitled to it for putting up with me).
Disclaimer: I don't really like anyone and most people don't like me, YMMV
I am totally a family first guy. And my employers know it when they hire me... But I also realize that sometimes putting family first means I have to put my job first. My current job, I have no problems with that at all... In an IT emergency, I'd be the first on campus and the last to leave... but if the CXO needs help with his mouse that has dead batteries while I'm at my kid's ball game, or his pre-k graduation... Yeah, it can wait. That got me in hot water a few times at my last job, but I stood my ground every time.
I've hired people like you, and that's fine with me. I don't make anyone else live my lifestyle in that regard. I've seen some of my fellow business owners make people come to work even though their parent had died and so they missed their funeral. I actually ruined a B2B relationship telling my former client that he was a piece of garbage human being for doing this to one of his employees, and even acting unappreciated for giving this guy a job. The whole thing was disgusting. Then again, I've written a post here before about how I pretty much hate all other wealthy people.
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@dafyre said in Non-IT News Thread:
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@coliver said in Non-IT News Thread:
I'd much rather move overseas to Europe at this point. Would need a place with lots of Dairy and lots of IT though.
Dairy is pretty common in Europe. They drink milk just like Americans do. And they don't import it from Asia or anything weird.
Which is funny... because people I know in the industry, connections again, are telling me we export most of our milk as powdered to the Asian markets. I haven't been able to verify that though.
Well sure, because Asia is short of food production. Europe, however, makes a LOT of food. It's an agricultural boom area.
Guess I'll have to keep an eye open then. Moving is hard as we have lots of family in the area.
I can't leave NJ for the same reason. My fiance is very close with her family.
Yep, I'm like your fiance. I spent most of my childhood moving from place-to-place. Didn't have a permanent home until middle school. Thankfully that was in my parent's hometown with lots of family close by.
Between the demands of my job, studying for my CCIE, managing the servers for two doctors offices (friends of mine) and planning for a wedding I don't understand how our families can have any expectations of seeing us in the near future. You'd think they'd at least be coming to us, but no.
EDIT: The real crazy thing too is it's only her family. My brother lives in LA, my dad who lived locally passed away and my mom lives in England. What would we do if we had to appease two families? How do you guys deal with this stuff? I established boundaries for myself but my fiance just does whatever they want. It's rough.
My wife's family is 6 hours away. We see them once every month or so. My parent's, and an uncle, live 8 miles from where we live now. We see them several times a week.
I guess this question would be more for your wife then as I'm in her position. I'm all for family but I don't think that people in our situation (professionally oriented, responsible, extremely busy people) can reasonably accommodate their "needs". Her Dad's retired. Like dude, drive here.
We don't really have these issues thankfully. Unless it is an emergency all visits are planned in advance.
Honest question. Do you think I'm being a dick for asking these sort of questions? Her parents are divorced and her dad alone wants to see us 2-3 times a week. If they were married it'd be different because we'd see everyone at the same time and it'd be done. We have to see her Mom and Dad separately. How can 2-3 days a week be reasonable in this situation? It's crazy to me.
Well, my parents are dead, but if they weren't I'd feel the same way because I really didn't like either of them. As for in laws, it depends. My current wife's father is a pretty cool guy, her mother is a drug addict disaster. They aren't together, we never see her mother, thank god. As far as exwives go, pretty much fairly good, except one wife her siblings were a nightmare, breaking into our house, showing up drunk all the time trying to start fights with me, etc. I hate family beyond my immediate family and my siblings. So no, I don't think you're a dick, I understand.
When it comes to basing things on family, I consider business before family in the sense that without my business my family would be living in dire poverty in post-communist hell. My exwives, both of them, their families in some way or another tried to prevent us from moving or doing things which ended up making me wealthy. I don't let others stop me from accomplishing my goals, especially people without goals. Interestingly this hasn't stopped all the aforementioned people for asking me for money all the time (exwives not included, they're entitled to it for putting up with me).
Disclaimer: I don't really like anyone and most people don't like me, YMMV
I am totally a family first guy. And my employers know it when they hire me... But I also realize that sometimes putting family first means I have to put my job first. My current job, I have no problems with that at all... In an IT emergency, I'd be the first on campus and the last to leave... but if the CXO needs help with his mouse that has dead batteries while I'm at my kid's ball game, or his pre-k graduation... Yeah, it can wait. That got me in hot water a few times at my last job, but I stood my ground every time.
A friend of mine and I had a discussion around this. He believes that he works (worked, he's a nurse now) blue collar manual labour jobs with a set 9-5 and all of the protections that blue collar work brought because he wanted every holiday, every vacation day guaranteed, no on calls, overtime refusal as a right, overtime pay without question, not a minute of "can you stay and do this", etc. He wanted 40 hours a week, not a moment more. His time was his time.
I did the exact opposite, busted hump on white collar jobs and put in whatever hours and relocations were required. But for the same purpose.
By the time that we were of child rearing ages (we are the same age) he was still beholden to a 40 hour a week job, no opportunity for flexibility, had commute time to include, had low income, but at least wasn't on call or working 80 hours a week.
At the same time, I was home full time with my kids from day one, had the flexibility to work the hours that I wanted, not only when I was needed, had the ability to earn many times his income while working less than thirty hours a week, had the choice to live anywhere, etc.
There is an important aspect to "focus on your job for your family". You can't do solely that, but you can't ignore it either.
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@scottalanmiller said in Non-IT News Thread:
@dafyre said in Non-IT News Thread:
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@wirestyle22 said in Non-IT News Thread:
@coliver said in Non-IT News Thread:
@wirestyle22 said in Non-IT News Thread:
@coliver said in Non-IT News Thread:
@wirestyle22 said in Non-IT News Thread:
@coliver said in Non-IT News Thread:
@wirestyle22 said in Non-IT News Thread:
@coliver said in Non-IT News Thread:
@scottalanmiller said in Non-IT News Thread:
@coliver said in Non-IT News Thread:
@scottalanmiller said in Non-IT News Thread:
@coliver said in Non-IT News Thread:
I'd much rather move overseas to Europe at this point. Would need a place with lots of Dairy and lots of IT though.
Dairy is pretty common in Europe. They drink milk just like Americans do. And they don't import it from Asia or anything weird.
Which is funny... because people I know in the industry, connections again, are telling me we export most of our milk as powdered to the Asian markets. I haven't been able to verify that though.
Well sure, because Asia is short of food production. Europe, however, makes a LOT of food. It's an agricultural boom area.
Guess I'll have to keep an eye open then. Moving is hard as we have lots of family in the area.
I can't leave NJ for the same reason. My fiance is very close with her family.
Yep, I'm like your fiance. I spent most of my childhood moving from place-to-place. Didn't have a permanent home until middle school. Thankfully that was in my parent's hometown with lots of family close by.
Between the demands of my job, studying for my CCIE, managing the servers for two doctors offices (friends of mine) and planning for a wedding I don't understand how our families can have any expectations of seeing us in the near future. You'd think they'd at least be coming to us, but no.
EDIT: The real crazy thing too is it's only her family. My brother lives in LA, my dad who lived locally passed away and my mom lives in England. What would we do if we had to appease two families? How do you guys deal with this stuff? I established boundaries for myself but my fiance just does whatever they want. It's rough.
My wife's family is 6 hours away. We see them once every month or so. My parent's, and an uncle, live 8 miles from where we live now. We see them several times a week.
I guess this question would be more for your wife then as I'm in her position. I'm all for family but I don't think that people in our situation (professionally oriented, responsible, extremely busy people) can reasonably accommodate their "needs". Her Dad's retired. Like dude, drive here.
We don't really have these issues thankfully. Unless it is an emergency all visits are planned in advance.
Honest question. Do you think I'm being a dick for asking these sort of questions? Her parents are divorced and her dad alone wants to see us 2-3 times a week. If they were married it'd be different because we'd see everyone at the same time and it'd be done. We have to see her Mom and Dad separately. How can 2-3 days a week be reasonable in this situation? It's crazy to me.
Well, my parents are dead, but if they weren't I'd feel the same way because I really didn't like either of them. As for in laws, it depends. My current wife's father is a pretty cool guy, her mother is a drug addict disaster. They aren't together, we never see her mother, thank god. As far as exwives go, pretty much fairly good, except one wife her siblings were a nightmare, breaking into our house, showing up drunk all the time trying to start fights with me, etc. I hate family beyond my immediate family and my siblings. So no, I don't think you're a dick, I understand.
When it comes to basing things on family, I consider business before family in the sense that without my business my family would be living in dire poverty in post-communist hell. My exwives, both of them, their families in some way or another tried to prevent us from moving or doing things which ended up making me wealthy. I don't let others stop me from accomplishing my goals, especially people without goals. Interestingly this hasn't stopped all the aforementioned people for asking me for money all the time (exwives not included, they're entitled to it for putting up with me).
Disclaimer: I don't really like anyone and most people don't like me, YMMV
I am totally a family first guy. And my employers know it when they hire me... But I also realize that sometimes putting family first means I have to put my job first. My current job, I have no problems with that at all... In an IT emergency, I'd be the first on campus and the last to leave... but if the CXO needs help with his mouse that has dead batteries while I'm at my kid's ball game, or his pre-k graduation... Yeah, it can wait. That got me in hot water a few times at my last job, but I stood my ground every time.
A friend of mine and I had a discussion around this. He believes that he works (worked, he's a nurse now) blue collar manual labour jobs with a set 9-5 and all of the protections that blue collar work brought because he wanted every holiday, every vacation day guaranteed, no on calls, overtime refusal as a right, overtime pay without question, not a minute of "can you stay and do this", etc. He wanted 40 hours a week, not a moment more. His time was his time.
I did the exact opposite, busted hump on white collar jobs and put in whatever hours and relocations were required. But for the same purpose.
By the time that we were of child rearing ages (we are the same age) he was still beholden to a 40 hour a week job, no opportunity for flexibility, had commute time to include, had low income, but at least wasn't on call or working 80 hours a week.
At the same time, I was home full time with my kids from day one, had the flexibility to work the hours that I wanted, not only when I was needed, had the ability to earn many times his income while working less than thirty hours a week, had the choice to live anywhere, etc.
There is an important aspect to "focus on your job for your family". You can't do solely that, but you can't ignore it either.
Totally right. That last sentence goes both ways. You can't always side towards your family, or side towards your job... Either of those is dangerous (if you side to your job all the time, you'll miss out on your family.... and if you side with your family all the time, you'll miss out on job promotions [or lose your job])
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You'll always be Boaty McBoatface to me.
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@coliver said in Non-IT News Thread:
You'll always be Boaty McBoatface to me.
Better they call it David Attenborough than some of the other "real person" choices. One was some kid w/ cancer... I mean, WTF is some sob story kid doing getting nominated to have a marine research vessel named after them???
