How to handle this



  • I have a colleague that i consult for department issues. So during our meeting he will agree and seems all is good. When we report it to the big boss he will be saying completely different thing even opposing the discussed idea. I wanted him to be involve with the decision making even i can make a call at the end. But it looks bad when i told the boss we discussed and agree to the documented idea only for him to say different thing during the presentation. WTH! lolz.



  • If you're his manager/supervisor, fire him instantly. He's clearly stabbing you i the back. If you don't have the power to fire him, don't get him involved in any decision making anymore. He's probably the type of employee that will throw anybody under the bus just so he looks good.

    Or simply confront him in front of the boss and ask why he's suddenly changing his mind.



  • @marcinozga said in How to handle this:

    Or simply confront him in front of the boss and ask why he's suddenly changing his mind.

    I'd do this.



  • agreed, better to get things resolved with the boss present rather than let it continue. Have him explain his reason on changing his stand point.



  • I had a boss with a terrible memory. He genuinely didn't seem to remember what we agreed, so I had to get it all written down. Once we were in a meeting and he said "whose stupid idea was this?", to which I replied, "er..it was yours". To which he immediately said "Was it? Oh well, sounds like the kind of stupid idea I'd come up with".

    It worked out ok for me, as I soon realised I could simply make things up and claim he'd previously agreed to them and he'd be none the wiser.



  • First thing, get it in writing. Send it in email, get him to agree. Send it to the manager before the meeting to present the idea.

    Confront right away. "Oh, we had agreed. If you had more information since we talked you should have shared with me so that we could have discussed. Please lay out the changed factors since we last discussed so that we can evaluate if those are indeed worth modifying the agreed upon plan".



  • I'm with Scott - stop having in person meetings with that person. Do it all through email. At the very least, write up a detailed email after the conversation, and have him agree to it through email before presenting it to the boss.

    Then send the email chain to the boss on the way to the meeting.



  • @Dashrender said in How to handle this:

    I'm with Scott - stop having in person meetings with that person. Do it all through email. At the very least, write up a detailed email after the conversation, and have him agree to it through email before presenting it to the boss.

    Then send the email chain to the boss on the way to the meeting.

    And if you need to, send the recap via email to the boss BCC, with wording like "Hey guy, this is what we discussed and agreed to in our meeting, did I get anything wrong or unclear? Just want to ensure we are 100% on the same page, thanks!"



  • CYA (Cover your ass) @scottalanmiller and @Dashrender have it right. Get everything in writing or email and document everything. Ask for confirmation via email on a regular basis.



  • @coliver said in How to handle this:

    CYA (Cover your ass) @scottalanmiller and @Dashrender have it right. Get everything in writing or email and document everything. Ask for confirmation via email on a regular basis.

    And confront. Don't let them play proactively the "oh I thought more about it" card. Force them into that position... demand that they share whatever secret info they are holding back with everyone, publicly, right then. Don't let them run with "secrets that only they know".



  • @scottalanmiller said in How to handle this:

    @Dashrender said in How to handle this:

    I'm with Scott - stop having in person meetings with that person. Do it all through email. At the very least, write up a detailed email after the conversation, and have him agree to it through email before presenting it to the boss.

    Then send the email chain to the boss on the way to the meeting.

    And if you need to, send the recap via email to the boss BCC, with wording like "Hey guy, this is what we discussed and agreed to in our meeting, did I get anything wrong or unclear? Just want to ensure we are 100% on the same page, thanks!"

    The problem with BCCing is that when he responds, the Boss won't see it.



  • @Dashrender said in How to handle this:

    @scottalanmiller said in How to handle this:

    @Dashrender said in How to handle this:

    I'm with Scott - stop having in person meetings with that person. Do it all through email. At the very least, write up a detailed email after the conversation, and have him agree to it through email before presenting it to the boss.

    Then send the email chain to the boss on the way to the meeting.

    And if you need to, send the recap via email to the boss BCC, with wording like "Hey guy, this is what we discussed and agreed to in our meeting, did I get anything wrong or unclear? Just want to ensure we are 100% on the same page, thanks!"

    The problem with BCCing is that when he responds, the Boss won't see it.

    You just respond consistently and BCC each time. No issue if you are diligent at all.



  • @scottalanmiller said in How to handle this:

    @Dashrender said in How to handle this:

    @scottalanmiller said in How to handle this:

    @Dashrender said in How to handle this:

    I'm with Scott - stop having in person meetings with that person. Do it all through email. At the very least, write up a detailed email after the conversation, and have him agree to it through email before presenting it to the boss.

    Then send the email chain to the boss on the way to the meeting.

    And if you need to, send the recap via email to the boss BCC, with wording like "Hey guy, this is what we discussed and agreed to in our meeting, did I get anything wrong or unclear? Just want to ensure we are 100% on the same page, thanks!"

    The problem with BCCing is that when he responds, the Boss won't see it.

    You just respond consistently and BCC each time. No issue if you are diligent at all.

    Exactly, now if your boss is super suspicious he might assume you are changing what this guy's replied with. But you can't fix that.



  • @DustinB3403 said in How to handle this:

    @scottalanmiller said in How to handle this:

    @Dashrender said in How to handle this:

    @scottalanmiller said in How to handle this:

    @Dashrender said in How to handle this:

    I'm with Scott - stop having in person meetings with that person. Do it all through email. At the very least, write up a detailed email after the conversation, and have him agree to it through email before presenting it to the boss.

    Then send the email chain to the boss on the way to the meeting.

    And if you need to, send the recap via email to the boss BCC, with wording like "Hey guy, this is what we discussed and agreed to in our meeting, did I get anything wrong or unclear? Just want to ensure we are 100% on the same page, thanks!"

    The problem with BCCing is that when he responds, the Boss won't see it.

    You just respond consistently and BCC each time. No issue if you are diligent at all.

    Exactly, now if your boss is super suspicious he might assume you are changing what this guy's replied with. But you can't fix that.

    Email server should have records. And his system would have it in sent mail. At some point, the boss might think that you are a malicious internal entity, but at that point, he's going to fire you anyway.



  • @scottalanmiller said in How to handle this:

    @DustinB3403 said in How to handle this:

    @scottalanmiller said in How to handle this:

    @Dashrender said in How to handle this:

    @scottalanmiller said in How to handle this:

    @Dashrender said in How to handle this:

    I'm with Scott - stop having in person meetings with that person. Do it all through email. At the very least, write up a detailed email after the conversation, and have him agree to it through email before presenting it to the boss.

    Then send the email chain to the boss on the way to the meeting.

    And if you need to, send the recap via email to the boss BCC, with wording like "Hey guy, this is what we discussed and agreed to in our meeting, did I get anything wrong or unclear? Just want to ensure we are 100% on the same page, thanks!"

    The problem with BCCing is that when he responds, the Boss won't see it.

    You just respond consistently and BCC each time. No issue if you are diligent at all.

    Exactly, now if your boss is super suspicious he might assume you are changing what this guy's replied with. But you can't fix that.

    Email server should have records. And his system would have it in sent mail. At some point, the boss might think that you are a malicious internal entity, but at that point, he's going to fire you anyway.

    A lot of effort, which I know several managers who don't have the slightest idea on how to look up the records from the server...



  • @DustinB3403 said in How to handle this:

    @scottalanmiller said in How to handle this:

    @DustinB3403 said in How to handle this:

    @scottalanmiller said in How to handle this:

    @Dashrender said in How to handle this:

    @scottalanmiller said in How to handle this:

    @Dashrender said in How to handle this:

    I'm with Scott - stop having in person meetings with that person. Do it all through email. At the very least, write up a detailed email after the conversation, and have him agree to it through email before presenting it to the boss.

    Then send the email chain to the boss on the way to the meeting.

    And if you need to, send the recap via email to the boss BCC, with wording like "Hey guy, this is what we discussed and agreed to in our meeting, did I get anything wrong or unclear? Just want to ensure we are 100% on the same page, thanks!"

    The problem with BCCing is that when he responds, the Boss won't see it.

    You just respond consistently and BCC each time. No issue if you are diligent at all.

    Exactly, now if your boss is super suspicious he might assume you are changing what this guy's replied with. But you can't fix that.

    Email server should have records. And his system would have it in sent mail. At some point, the boss might think that you are a malicious internal entity, but at that point, he's going to fire you anyway.

    A lot of effort, which I know several managers who don't have the slightest idea on how to look up the records from the server...

    Then they shouldn't question the modification.



  • If courts use email without questioning that someone is changing the content.. why would most managers be any different?
    lol



  • One word of warning I would interject: You have to be careful with Bcc's with certain bosses because some bosses aren't good at paying attention to details and won't even realize that they were included as a bcc instead of inline with the other recipient(s). This can increase the risk of more trouble vs less.



  • @Dashrender said in How to handle this:

    I'm with Scott - stop having in person meetings with that person. Do it all through email. At the very least, write up a detailed email after the conversation, and have him agree to it through email before presenting it to the boss.

    Then send the email chain to the boss on the way to the meeting.

    Nothing beats a paper trail.



  • @art_of_shred said in How to handle this:

    @Dashrender said in How to handle this:

    I'm with Scott - stop having in person meetings with that person. Do it all through email. At the very least, write up a detailed email after the conversation, and have him agree to it through email before presenting it to the boss.

    Then send the email chain to the boss on the way to the meeting.

    Nothing beats a paper trail.

    Except paper shredder... 👼



  • @dafyre said in How to handle this:

    @art_of_shred said in How to handle this:

    @Dashrender said in How to handle this:

    I'm with Scott - stop having in person meetings with that person. Do it all through email. At the very least, write up a detailed email after the conversation, and have him agree to it through email before presenting it to the boss.

    Then send the email chain to the boss on the way to the meeting.

    Nothing beats a paper trail.

    Except paper shredder... 👼

    Figurative expression... digital "paper".


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