Ransomware Management Career Fork
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@scottalanmiller said in Ransomware Management Career Fork:
- Never go after more money from your current job than they are going to pay you through the regular channels...
But this also doesn't mean be afraid to ask for raises. Not every year, but if you have gone 3 or 4 years without even a cost of living raise, then it's time to ask about some sort of raise... but at the same time, you should never give an ultimatum to your employer. Don't tell them you will quit if they don't give you a raise... Just go find another job and put in your two weeks notice after you have a new job secured.
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@wirestyle22 said in Ransomware Management Career Fork:
After going over the numbers of having a child and providing for said child I feel the need to make considerably more money.
But she does not? Child rearing is a HUGE reason why someone, especially the man, has to have enough of an income to support everyone (in case of emergency) in the US where women do not get a year of pay like in the rest of the world when having a baby. It's fine for women to make more than men, of course, but for safety around having kids you want the man to at least earn enough to cover the bases when necessary.
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@dafyre said in Ransomware Management Career Fork:
@scottalanmiller said in Ransomware Management Career Fork:
- Never go after more money from your current job than they are going to pay you through the regular channels...
But this also doesn't mean be afraid to ask for raises. Not every year, but if you have gone 3 or 4 years without even a cost of living raise, then it's time to ask about some sort of raise..
Right, but no healthy company makes you ASK for a raise. There needs to be a process. If there isn't, you should have been looking for the next job from day one and no one should expect you to stay, ever.
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@dafyre said in Ransomware Management Career Fork:
but at the same time, you should never give an ultimatum to your employer. Don't tell them you will quit if they don't give you a raise... Just go find another job and put in your two weeks notice after you have a new job secured.
Absolutely. the moment that this has crossed your mind, it is time to leave.
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Where are you sending applications out to? Just locally? If that is the case you, like me, are going to have some serious issues finding a competitive job. In IT, and most jobs, you have to prepared to move around.
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@coliver said in Ransomware Management Career Fork:
Where are you sending applications out to? Just locally? If that is the case you, like me, are going to have some serious issues finding a competitive job. In IT, and most jobs, you have to prepared to move around.
I can't leave my state. My fiance just got her career job with the state and is insanely happy. If I have to choose between her happiness and mine she's going to win. I'm never going to make her give up her own happiness. I will commute or do whatever I have to do to make as much money as possible. Maybe i'll drive an Uber in my spare time. Whatever.
Her happiness is more important to me than mine is.
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@wirestyle22 said in Ransomware Management Career Fork:
@coliver said in Ransomware Management Career Fork:
Where are you sending applications out to? Just locally? If that is the case you, like me, are going to have some serious issues finding a competitive job. In IT, and most jobs, you have to prepared to move around.
I can't leave my state. My fiance just got her career job with the state and is insanely happy. If I have to choose between her happiness and mine she's going to win. I'm never going to make her give up her own happiness. I will commute or do whatever I have to do to make as much money as possible. Maybe i'll drive an Uber in my spare time. Whatever.
Her happiness is more important to me than mine is.
Sucker...
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@wirestyle22 said in Ransomware Management Career Fork:
@coliver said in Ransomware Management Career Fork:
Where are you sending applications out to? Just locally? If that is the case you, like me, are going to have some serious issues finding a competitive job. In IT, and most jobs, you have to prepared to move around.
I can't leave my state. My fiance just got her career job with the state and is insanely happy. If I have to choose between her happiness and mine she's going to win. I'm never going to make her give up her own happiness. I will commute or do whatever I have to do to make as much money as possible. Maybe i'll drive an Uber in my spare time. Whatever.
Her happiness is more important to me than mine is.
There we go, you two made the same decision my wife and I did. Her career comes before mine and that was a conscious decision that we made together
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@coliver said in Ransomware Management Career Fork:
@wirestyle22 said in Ransomware Management Career Fork:
@coliver said in Ransomware Management Career Fork:
Where are you sending applications out to? Just locally? If that is the case you, like me, are going to have some serious issues finding a competitive job. In IT, and most jobs, you have to prepared to move around.
I can't leave my state. My fiance just got her career job with the state and is insanely happy. If I have to choose between her happiness and mine she's going to win. I'm never going to make her give up her own happiness. I will commute or do whatever I have to do to make as much money as possible. Maybe i'll drive an Uber in my spare time. Whatever.
Her happiness is more important to me than mine is.
There we go, you two made the same decision my wife and I did. Her career comes before mine and that was a conscious decision that we made together
This is the core of my being. She will always be more important to me than I am to myself. Take money completely out of the equation.
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@wirestyle22 said in Ransomware Management Career Fork:
@coliver said in Ransomware Management Career Fork:
@wirestyle22 said in Ransomware Management Career Fork:
@coliver said in Ransomware Management Career Fork:
Where are you sending applications out to? Just locally? If that is the case you, like me, are going to have some serious issues finding a competitive job. In IT, and most jobs, you have to prepared to move around.
I can't leave my state. My fiance just got her career job with the state and is insanely happy. If I have to choose between her happiness and mine she's going to win. I'm never going to make her give up her own happiness. I will commute or do whatever I have to do to make as much money as possible. Maybe i'll drive an Uber in my spare time. Whatever.
Her happiness is more important to me than mine is.
There we go, you two made the same decision my wife and I did. Her career comes before mine and that was a conscious decision that we made together
This is the core of my being. She will always be more important to me than I am to myself. Take money completely out of the equation.
That's irrational though, if you could save the stress of money by making more money, wouldn't she be happier in the long term?
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@coliver said in Ransomware Management Career Fork:
@wirestyle22 said in Ransomware Management Career Fork:
@coliver said in Ransomware Management Career Fork:
@wirestyle22 said in Ransomware Management Career Fork:
@coliver said in Ransomware Management Career Fork:
Where are you sending applications out to? Just locally? If that is the case you, like me, are going to have some serious issues finding a competitive job. In IT, and most jobs, you have to prepared to move around.
I can't leave my state. My fiance just got her career job with the state and is insanely happy. If I have to choose between her happiness and mine she's going to win. I'm never going to make her give up her own happiness. I will commute or do whatever I have to do to make as much money as possible. Maybe i'll drive an Uber in my spare time. Whatever.
Her happiness is more important to me than mine is.
There we go, you two made the same decision my wife and I did. Her career comes before mine and that was a conscious decision that we made together
This is the core of my being. She will always be more important to me than I am to myself. Take money completely out of the equation.
That's irrational though, if you could save the stress of money by making more money, wouldn't she be happier in the long term?
She is fulfilled with the work she is doing and she also makes a lot of money. If I took that away and made lets say double what she makes. Then I feel extreme guilt and I am unhappy. She isnt as fulfilled so she is less happy. Does the removal of financial stress (which I can be let go at any point) validate that? IMO it doesn't.
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@wirestyle22 said in Ransomware Management Career Fork:
This is the core of my being. She will always be more important to me than I am to myself. Take money completely out of the equation.
That is completely irrational.
Each person has to have a focus for themselves. It's a part of nature. You can't sustain yourself from a smile on her face, you have to each eat, drink and defecate.
That is a self focus, you have to be able to be happy as well, otherwise you will make everyone around you unhappy.
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@DustinB3403 said in Ransomware Management Career Fork:
@wirestyle22 said in Ransomware Management Career Fork:
This is the core of my being. She will always be more important to me than I am to myself. Take money completely out of the equation.
That is completely irrational.
Each person has to have a focus for themselves. It's a part of nature. You can't sustain yourself from a smile on her face, you have to each eat, drink and defecate.
That is a self focus, you have to be able to be happy as well, otherwise you will make everyone around you unhappy.
It's a rarity to have to choose between your happiness and someone else's in my experience. When I am forced into a situation like that I am selfless. That's just who I am.
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@coliver said in Ransomware Management Career Fork:
Where are you sending applications out to? Just locally? If that is the case you, like me, are going to have some serious issues finding a competitive job. In IT, and most jobs, you have to prepared to move around.
Unlike you, he is kind of in a major market (the market is major, he's kind of in it.)
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@scottalanmiller said in Ransomware Management Career Fork:
@coliver said in Ransomware Management Career Fork:
Where are you sending applications out to? Just locally? If that is the case you, like me, are going to have some serious issues finding a competitive job. In IT, and most jobs, you have to prepared to move around.
Unlike you, he is kind of in a major market (the market is major, he's kind of in it.)
Tri-state?
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@coliver said in Ransomware Management Career Fork:
@scottalanmiller said in Ransomware Management Career Fork:
@coliver said in Ransomware Management Career Fork:
Where are you sending applications out to? Just locally? If that is the case you, like me, are going to have some serious issues finding a competitive job. In IT, and most jobs, you have to prepared to move around.
Unlike you, he is kind of in a major market (the market is major, he's kind of in it.)
Tri-state?
Yes
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@wirestyle22 said in Ransomware Management Career Fork:
@coliver said in Ransomware Management Career Fork:
@scottalanmiller said in Ransomware Management Career Fork:
@coliver said in Ransomware Management Career Fork:
Where are you sending applications out to? Just locally? If that is the case you, like me, are going to have some serious issues finding a competitive job. In IT, and most jobs, you have to prepared to move around.
Unlike you, he is kind of in a major market (the market is major, he's kind of in it.)
Tri-state?
Yes
Sorry, you shouldn't need to move around too much. Plenty of huge opportunities in that area.
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@coliver said in Ransomware Management Career Fork:
@wirestyle22 said in Ransomware Management Career Fork:
@coliver said in Ransomware Management Career Fork:
@scottalanmiller said in Ransomware Management Career Fork:
@coliver said in Ransomware Management Career Fork:
Where are you sending applications out to? Just locally? If that is the case you, like me, are going to have some serious issues finding a competitive job. In IT, and most jobs, you have to prepared to move around.
Unlike you, he is kind of in a major market (the market is major, he's kind of in it.)
Tri-state?
Yes
Sorry, you shouldn't need to move around too much. Plenty of huge opportunities in that area.
I've been told that but I honestly haven't seen a lot. Where should I be looking outside of the traditional websites (career builder, monster, linkedin, etc)? Maybe there is something I'm missing. I see DevOps positions everywhere but that isn't my skillset.
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@wirestyle22 said in Ransomware Management Career Fork:
@coliver said in Ransomware Management Career Fork:
@wirestyle22 said in Ransomware Management Career Fork:
@coliver said in Ransomware Management Career Fork:
@scottalanmiller said in Ransomware Management Career Fork:
@coliver said in Ransomware Management Career Fork:
Where are you sending applications out to? Just locally? If that is the case you, like me, are going to have some serious issues finding a competitive job. In IT, and most jobs, you have to prepared to move around.
Unlike you, he is kind of in a major market (the market is major, he's kind of in it.)
Tri-state?
Yes
Sorry, you shouldn't need to move around too much. Plenty of huge opportunities in that area.
I've been told that but I honestly haven't seen a lot. Where should I be looking outside of the traditional websites (career builder, monster, linkedin, etc)? Maybe there is something I'm missing. I see DevOps positions everywhere but that isn't my skillset.
Networking. You won't find the positions you are looking for online.
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@wirestyle22 said in Ransomware Management Career Fork:
I can't leave my state. My fiance just got her career job with the state and is insanely happy. If I have to choose between her happiness and mine she's going to win. I'm never going to make her give up her own happiness. I will commute or do whatever I have to do to make as much money as possible. Maybe i'll drive an Uber in my spare time. Whatever.
Her happiness is more important to me than mine is.
Nothing wrong with that. Hopefully she wants to do the same for you and it is just you not letting her. Which is also fine.
But be aware of the implications and as a personal recommendation, outside of IT stuff, I think that you will be far happier in life, most likely, if you sit down and work this out with her as a team. Let her me a part of the bigger conversation. If you aren't functioning as a team, you will always suffer. The amount of money you go after today, or long term, the long term career stability, the ability to retire... these are all things she is making "decisions" about now, possibly without knowing it because you sound like you might be shielding her from the conversation.
She might love her career, but would she like being rich more? What about being more stable? What about retiring early? Maybe she would prioritize those things.
